* Daddy's little girl *

Happy Birthday to Me!

2009-05-28T09:51:00.002+08:00

Wow I'm 28.

Seems like not so long ago I was 23, fresh out of uni, and at my first day of work. Five years down the road, and I'm sitting at the same desk, but in a different office, with a few different faces around me and different wisdoms gained over the years. But still the same Dotz :)

My birthday came and went really quickly (!!!) but was quite different from recent birthdays, as it was full of emotions. Heh. I cried at the last time I would lead worship at the SOLead graduation. I giggled with glee when I predicted (correctly) my cake surprise at Team Prayer! And then I cried again last night when I thought of leaving this family I have come to love so much.

But then... that in itself is part of the reason to move. Not in a sadistic-I-want-to-cause-myself-suffering way, but in a stepping-out-of-the-boat way. In many senses, my ministry has become a safety net for me, a safe harbour that I am comfortable in. And over the past few months, I increasingly feel God challenging me to try something new.

I know (and I hope!) I might come back on staff someday :) but in the meanwhile, I'm treasuring these last few months for all its worth and seeking God on what to do next.

This being my fifth bday on staff, I thought it's also a good time to finally make the move. And so, for all my wonderful readers and friends who have journeyed with me throughout the past few years, please please please continue to journey with me at my new space here. I love you, and I'll see you there!

::dottieshop::

2009-05-11T15:12:00.001+08:00

Snapshots from Tokyo!

2009-05-05T15:03:00.009+08:00

Waiting at the airport for the bus to Tokorozawa

House church at Tokorozawa

House church at Ochanomizu

Our team having ramen at a shop that was featured on Japan Hour in Singapore!

Cute kids!

nihon ni ikimashou!

2009-04-17T23:00:00.002+08:00

at 6am tomorrow, we're leaving for japan! =D

some new terms I've learnt for the trip:

watashiwa nihongo o sukoshi hanasu kotoga dekimasu = I can speak a bit of japanese

kamisama no shukufuku ga arimasu youni = God bless you!

watachitachi no tabe ni inotte kudasai = please pray for (the purpose of) us!

ok I better go and sleep now... =b

tools of the trade :)

2009-04-13T09:32:00.003+08:00

young wives club

2009-04-11T20:46:00.003+08:00

A few months back, a few of us 'young wives' began to meet up once a month for lunch. Just to share how we're doing, and be a support to one another in these first few years of marriage. It's been really great!

Here's some pictures from our April mtg, when we met to BAKE! We made two apple crumbles and a batch of rum & raisin muffins. Mmm... =)

Time for a break

2009-04-09T11:34:00.002+08:00

It's been a hectic few weeks with a couple of gigs in a row, on top of planning meetings for the rest of the year. Today was the second of two early morning gigs (must wake up at 5am type...), so this afternoon the 'rest' begins!! I'm looking forward to chilling out in front of the TV with a bag of chips and dabbling on my new-and-upcoming webspace. Yup, I'll be making the move to a new space over the next few months. Quite excited about the change, but it'll be sad to say goodbye to my dear little blog, which has become part of me over the years... But the blogging continues...

Anyway, to share a bit about the move. One main reason is that I am in the midst of moving on to a new phase of life (no I am not pregnant... yet..), and making new discoveries about myself and His leading i the process. Nothing seems certain at the moment, so not sharing details. But it will definitely be a major change, and I'm excited, terrified and sad.

Heh.

Ok I really MUST share more details sometime soon, but first I need to tell some people in person. Heh heh... So *akan datang* :)

That aside, must share that something which really really caught my attention and impressed me and moved me recently was the TV ad by MCYS on "family". I think first Red Shoes, and now Funeral, have both been stellar examples of what it means to connect the message to the heart. I was really wowed... see it for yourself :)

letting go

2009-03-31T17:20:00.002+08:00

the more people i tell, the more certain i am, the more difficult it is to let go, the more i grow...

sigh. life is full of change. but change isn't easy =(

too many things

2009-03-26T09:13:00.002+08:00

lots of things weighing on my heart. last night was difficult to sleep as I kept thinking about things. just feel like this is a season of much change, and grappling with letting go as well as knowing WHEN to let go. not letting go for the sake of letting go.

wah that sounds very convoluted. hmmm...

my favourite song!!

2009-03-22T23:34:00.003+08:00

from the naturally 7 gig (see previous post) No I didn't record it myself in case you were wondering.

sorry the video is not fantastic but it's the best I found of this song. their live stage presence is really incredible, and the live sound mix is the best I've heard... mel and I were saying, the sound man is at least AS STRESSED as the performers onstage. cos he has to put the reverbs on the right mics at just the right times...

here are the lyrics of the song:

Say You Love Me

[Verse 1]
The ocean rises the
waves now crash cross
the seashore
As the wind blows
The earth, the moon,
flowers bloom as the
rain drops
And the trees grow
No mystery, I can calm the sea
I can fill your soul
Make you whole
With open arms I am here
for you, I´m the air you
breathe
I´m everything

[Chorus]
Say you love me
Tell me that you love me
Say that I´m the one that
you come running to
To hold you through the rain
Say you love me
And there´s no one else above me
Open up your heart to
me I´ll always be
[ Find more Lyrics on www.mp3lyrics.org/AbUP ]
All you´ll ever need
Say you love me

[Verse 2]
I´ll unlock the door to
paradise just follow
If you want to
Take my hand and we’ll fly
away let me show you
That I love you
The candles burn as your
world is turning slowly
Listen closely
Be with me I am here for you forever
And ever

[Chorus]

[Verse 3]
I know you´re out there
Chasing waterfalls (say you love me)
But you can rise above
And show me that you love

[Chorus x2]

I have the DVD to watch, and their latest CD *smirk*

voices only

2009-03-22T23:17:00.002+08:00

[i'm a bit lazy so i'm copying and pasting this from another of my blogs =b heh heh]

just came back from a naturally seven concert. it was AWESOME!!! the last time I saw them was when I was in JC =b and that was just one song. this time it was an whole evening of awesome music!

the band does sth called vocal play. kind of like acapella - ie with no instruments except the human voice - but the different is it's not just about cool harmonies, but mimicking of actual instruments, and boy do they sound like the real thing!!! i had to see and hear for myself to believe it man... there was one song where they went without mics, just to show it's the real deal and not any sort of lip syncing. heh

check out his e-guit!

and the bass... words fail me. haha... I just wonder what his mum thought when her son's voice first broke. he's amazing man! WITHOUT an octave pedal mind you... see if you can hear him. btw the drums and everything else you hear - all voice.

really cool right?? i'm really glad we could go for this. money well spent =)

2009-03-20T12:36:00.001+08:00

safari silhouette - by dorothea chow on Polyvore.com

precious times

2009-03-20T00:09:00.002+08:00

just came back from a gig at SMU. my task today was to man the video cam, which is actually a lot more tougher than it looks! cos you need to have 100% attention on what's happening on stage, as well as control the zooms and pans with steady hands. but this post isn't about my mediocre video-ing skills.

it's about the gradual realization of how precious the time is. about how important it is to really live in the moment and treasure every minute and every encounter, every person and every conversation. i'm coming to five years on staff, and when I look back at the journey I have gone through, I see a very colourful painting indeed.

RED, ORANGE & YELLOW - for the sunshiny moments when I received words of affirmation, encouragement, and a helping hand.

PINK - for the unforgettable surprise pink party that the FR team threw for me when I finished my staff training!

GREEN - for the security and acceptance I have found in this second family of mine. kind of like a verdant hedge of protection. no doubt God's acceptance is the only one that's 100%, but these friends come pretty close.

PURPLE - for the variety of characters I have gotten to know and work with and quarrel with and laugh with and cry with... purple is such a wide range of colours, going from maroon to violet, and that's very much like this team

BLUE - for the captured moments of time when I have felt truly blessed, very loved, and extremely grateful that God put me here

GREY - for the many heart struggles and pain I have gone through in my journey of learning what it is to be an authentic Christian. for the nights of tears and the agony of feeling misunderstood and unappreciated. for each time I realize that I don't measure up, and it's ok.

BLACK & WHITE - for the decisions that God has helped me make. for the ways in which He has directed my paths - in dating, in marriage, in Snooze, in encouraging my team.

what a rich experience it has been. the Lord is my Shepherd, i shall not be in want. =)

pretty pictures!

2009-03-13T17:00:00.002+08:00

I'm so delighted with this cool website I found via Julienne's blog, where you can make your very own sets of funky fashion. Here's my first attempt!

pretty proper - by dorothea chow on Polyvore.com

pretty tulips

2009-03-04T10:33:00.002+08:00

tulips are my favourite flower =) if I could have had tulips for my wedding, I would've. but it's really not worth it to buy in bulk cos they are so darn expensive!! =(

but my dearie bought me three pink pink tulips two nights ago as a surprise! =D hee hee...

thank you =)

what's next?

2009-02-26T12:34:00.003+08:00

it's been so long!! I still haven't uploaded pix of my baking. in fact, I think I didn't manage to get a nice shot of my tarts and cookies before they got eaten or given away... or well there are many more chinese new years to come. heh heh

recently i've been doing a lot of soul searching and asking God about what's next. i'm coming to the end of my 5th year on staff (already!), and with family planning on the horizon, it seems like a good time to re-evaluate. not just that, but over the past year, and especially the last few months, I have been sensing that I am too comfortable, and the challenge to explore some new things. so... nothing's in the pipeline yet, but I'm just exploring new directions for the future... (sorry it's a bit cryptic for now)

meanwhile, i'm very very thankful for the past year of Snooze-mania. here's a pic of us from our Christmas gig in JB! I really love each one of these guys and gals, and will be very sad if and when some of them leave us in June, and we have to recruit new ones for the team...

Our next gig is on 11 march at Presbyterian High School. Check out our blog snooze.sg! =) Pray for us.

preparing for the "niu" year

2009-01-21T15:28:00.002+08:00

last year was my first attempt at any kind of new year goodies - and i made open-faced pineapple tarts! the verdict was generally okay... not fantastic but not bad. =)

this year i'm venturing into baking ALL my CNY goodies (except kueh bankit which is beyond me, and bak kwa which I dun like very much anyway). so today I baked cranberry-orange-chocolate cookies! made enough for 3 bottles - one for us, one for my parents, and one for my in-laws!!

the other two/three things i'm going to try to bake are:

1. Open-faced pineapple tarts - new recipe!

2. Closed pineapple tarts - anyone got ideas how I can make it look like a cow??

3. Horlicks melt-in-your-mouth cookies

Will post some pics of my goodies up soon!! =)

girlies tea time

2008-12-31T00:31:00.003+08:00

on boxing day i had a few girls come over for tea =) actually it was miss elaine's idea. heh heh, but i'm glad she suggested it, cos it was great to see them again (some I haven't seen for a while) and we took lots of pics!! (thanks again to ms elaine =b)

elaine posing with the pretty picture she gave us as a wedding present. thanks elaine!! =)

kuanmei brought egg tarts!

kuanmei and i with the pre-bake batter for golden muffins!

muffins in the oven...

after the muffins came out of the oven, we cut the tops and spread jam and cream cheese frosting and made the cut-off pieces into pretty shapes! haha!

all our pretty muffins! the hardest was the christmas tree muffin! ain't it pretty??

playing gift trap! it's a really fun game that mel brought back from the states! but best to play in group of 4-5 - not more than 6!

the game board...
the game board...

post Christmas update

2008-12-30T10:16:00.003+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Yes it's rather late... I know. I was just reflecting this morning that even though I've been on leave since Christmas Eve (until 2 Jan), it hasn't felt particularly restful - and I think it's my own doing. Possibly a combination of my perpetual performance-anxiety mode and the fact that we've packed the week with parties - 4 in 8 days, out of which 3 are at my place! Time to discipline myself into taking rest...

Anyway I've resolved that for tonight's party, I will not think about tomorrow, not worry about the state of the living room floor, and not wrestle with thoughts of what to wear for the next party! Instead, I will focus on my friends and the yummy food, and just ENJOY the moment. hee... easier said than done, but no harm trying...

Here's some pics from the most recent party - my CG Christmas Lunch!

Many more shoes than usual at our front door...

Cool drinks brought by Kun Quan~ I love the retro feel of the apple bottle drink!

My roasted chix drumstix - marinade included soy sauce, honey, garlic, allspice, pepper and olive oil.

Kee Onn & Silin hard at work on our never-ending Jigsaw Puzzle

ALL THE FOOD!!!

Mel praying before we tuck in

Games time! Jan was very patiently explaining the game "Balderdash"

Presents under the tree for our gift exchange. =)

Group photo!! SK & Erny, we miss you!!

don't be afraid

2008-12-14T18:35:00.002+08:00

this afternoon i had to explain a part of our band's program to a group of mixed ages, from early twenties to early sixties! i was pretty nervous, to say the least! and i was LATE... which didn't help... and honestly the response wasn't what i had expected and hoped for - they had lots of opinions and i found myself feeling increasingly helpless and desperate as they brought up their opinions in a 'i'm definitely right, you're not kind of way... in other words, i felt intimidated.

on my way home (1 hour bus ride) i had lots of time to ponder this whole event, and i know this is something i really need to get over. all my life, i've had this feeling of intimidation everytime i'm around adults - maybe the saying 'little children should be seen and not heard' has been drummed into my brain =b haha... but well, i'm not a child anymore, and while i believe in respecting our elders and being polite and gracious to everyone, that doesn't mean i should take things lying down or give in at the first sign of disagreement! and yet i do...

i know the root of all this is fear. fear that others will think bad of me, or that i will be perceived as a 'headstrong, stubborn mule'. or something to that effect. but then this verse came to mind as i was almost reaching home, and i can't believe i didn't think of it earlier!

"don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity." 1 Tim 4:12

now i just need to remember it at the right time =b heh. and get over my darn nerves!!

ok ok, be patient with yourself, dorothea. =)

Oohhhhhh, 7 more hours till mel gets home!!!! =D =D =D

we belong to tao nan school...

2008-12-12T21:48:00.002+08:00

suddenly my facebook is all a-flurry with messages! apparently one of my primary school classmates found a class pic and posted it online, and everyone's suddenly getting reunited as they get tagged! it's quite hilarious, because most of us don't recognize who the kids in the photo are! haha... but slowly but surely, we remember, 'oh that girl fourth from the left in the second row wearing glasses is XXX'. hee... so it's quite fun following the thread of this conversation.

it's pretty cool. i never kept in touch with any of my primary school friends, so i really haven't seen them for over a decade! and how cool is it that the boy who used to steal my eraser and pull my hair is now a chef in australia!! and the prettiest and most articulate girl in class has now become a lawyer! (duh) and half of the guys now have taken on Christian names! (they used to be all hanyu pinyin type, which i never can remember properly...)

now the group is wanting to have a reunion in jan. hmmm... i do want to meet them, but it does feel kind of scary to see them after all this while... like what will we say?? and what if i don't like how so-and-so turned out (or vice versa)? or maybe they'll all be really sophisticated or a total mess, and i'll not know what to do? hmmm...

shall ask mel what he thinks when he comes back...

i'll be ok =)

2008-12-04T22:55:00.001+08:00

little by little, one step at a time

He's changing our hearts and renewing our minds

teaching us how to be patient and kind

little by little, one step at a time

finding rest

2008-12-02T21:53:00.002+08:00

The theme for today's team prayer was "Rest". How apt.T

Yesterday night, while spending time with God and pouring out all my feelings to Him, I was reminded of this verse that I used to have memorized, but realized I had forgotten bits and pieces of. here it is:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the PEACE of God that transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phil 4:6-7

Reading it was a huge reminder of His presence and faithfulness, and gave me the anchor I think I needed to reign in all my emotions and remember that my God is with me. i found myself able to sleep in peace thinking about the words, and the verse was the one of the first thoughts I had when I woke up too! =) Thank God.

Thanks also to Grace and Joy for their concern and encouragement, it really really helped =)

Today was a whole lot better than yesterday. The verse has been with me throughout the day, and the truth of it has been so calming at moments when I suddenly think of Mel. And reading this on my friend's blog also reinforced the 'lesson' I am learning:

"So Jesus says, “I will quiet you with My love” (Zephaniah 3:17). A woman of true beauty is a woman who in the depths of her soul is at rest; trusting God because she has come to know Him to be worthy of her trust. She exudes a sense of calm; a sense of rest; and invites those around her to rest as well. She speaks comfort; that all is well; that all will be well."

May I learn to trust God, and rest in knowing He is with me...

i need some distractions

2008-12-01T15:20:00.002+08:00

the hubby left this morning. =( it was a tearful farewell... i thought i wouldn't cry in a public place, but i did, but thankfully not a lot, just sniffs and sobs as we approached the departure gate. i managed to keep a brave smiling face waving as he walked through the gantry on towards his gate, and then resolutely turned around to trudge towards the MRT line. But as I walked towards the MRT, my eyes just filled up with tears and I had to brush them away quickly, cos I didn't want people to see and wonder. by the time I reached the train, the tears had stopped, and I was busy thinking of all the things I want/need to do today/thisweek/nextweek so that I won't think about missing him. this ploy worked until I walked through my front door and remembered that he won't be home tonight after work today, and I burst into tears and very quickly worked myself through a few sheets of tissue.

this was followed by a round of journaling, and then a marathon of the Ellen Degeneres show, Martha Stewart and Rachael Ray. then i cooked myself instant noodles for lunch. (actually I wasn't hungry but I just felt I should eat sth unhealthy. sigh.) then I baked a batch of blueberry muffins, which I almost burnt but didn't =) it was very therapeutic baking the muffins, cos all I needed to think about were "1/2 cup sugar"... "Tablespoon? Where's the tablespoon?" and "More soap".

anyways so now that's done, and the muffins are brown and cooling away, and I'm back to nothing to do. But yet I don't really wanna talk to people, I just want to be alone with me. But then again, that means I need to do sth with myself.

hmmm...

and I don't want to go out, cos I don't want to spend money unnecessarily which I probably will in this mood...

hmmm...

anyway, happy thoughts of last night. we had a super date, because we won't get to go out for the next fortnight, and we went to Ikoi Restaurant at Hotel Miramar for a Japanese buffet, which was pretty fantastic (i had 8 slivers of salmon sashimi all to myself). after dinner, we took a nice slow walk down orchard road. i wanted to take pictures with the lights, but there were too many people crowded on the sidewalks so I didn't. He got his webcam so that we can skype each other when he gets the time, and he bought me a pair of Birkies, my Christmas present!! My current birkies are 3 years old and still usable, it's just that they're quite faded and scratched up, so I've been wanting to get a new pair. Yay!!!

it was just a really nice, cosy, happy evening. =)

I know this is just two weeks, and so many people I know have to deal with far FAR more, like months or years apart! I'm really impressed and inspired by friends like them, and I can only imagine how much harder it is! for me, 2 weeks is already more than enough. I don't think I would ever have survived a long distance relationship man...

yep. ok I'm off to vacuum and mop the floor now. that should take me until dinner time, when I can go out for dinner before my jap lesson. And soon... well actually about 15 hours more... Mel will touch down in Denver! =) i'm looking forward to our first skype talk!

i don't like being alone

2008-11-26T23:28:00.002+08:00

next week, my hubby is flying off to the US for a business trip for 2 whole weeks. that's the longest we've ever been apart since we got married, the second longest being a mere 6 days in comparison! i'm quite sad about it cos i'll miss him a lot and also a bit scared of being alone in the house, especially because we had an unprecendented two xiao qiangs appearing this month (we only had one in the previous 10 months!!)

today we bought the buggie chalk that's supposed to short circuit their nervous systems, and i conscientiously drew the lines round all the possible areas where bugs can get in. but still, there's no guarantee, and i'm finding it hard to trust that God will protect me and be merciful to keep the bugs away. for all i know, He wants to teach me to face them head on! sigh...

i've also planned my schedule for the next 2 weeks so that i won't have too many nights alone at home. like having dinners with my parents or meeting up with friends etc. i don't really know why i just don't like being alone. maybe it's because i'm gotten so used to having mel with me every day, that it feels lonely. i know some of my married friends would gladly welcome the solitude and 'freedom' of being alone for a while, but it's just not 'me'.

dear God, give me the faith to trust You to look after me and the house and mel for the next 2 weeks, and draw close to both of us. thank You =)

gingerbread and potted plants

2008-10-26T18:37:00.002+08:00

i've been quite adventurous this weekend. Heh...

Last Thursday, Mel surprised me with a set of little boy and girl cookie cutters that he saw at phoon huat! I was all excited to try out making my very own gingerbread family (I love gingerbread! I remember my family once even buying a whole gingerbread house at Christmas!) So on Friday I got the necessary ingredients that were lacking from my baking supplies and set to work...

Well... let's just say the little army that I made were just a tad salty =b Haha... turns out I should have used unsalted butter, because the recipe called for salt, and I put BOTH salted butter and salt! =b tee hee... and the ginger taste was deemed a bit too strong by the hubby (who got the first bite). But in general, it was still pretty fun and floury to make them, and I think they don't taste TOO bad... but next time I'll cut the salt =b

I forgot to take pics =( Oh well...

Second thing I did was start my own lil garden project! this morning, one of my church mates called me aside and said she was going to cut a basil seedling and did I want to? Well out of curiousity, I followed her to the church nursery, where the aunty who looks after it was helping her to select some nice shoots to cut. Apparently you can just stick the branch that you cut off in a pot of soil and it should take root and grow! (Vaguely remember something called stem cutting from Pri Sch?)

So I thought ok, I'll give it a try. Before I knew it, they had whipped out a pair of scissors and snipped me my own two little shoots! Suddenly I got quite excited about the prospect of them blooming and these two little lives I had in my hand. Haha!! So after church, I made mel (poor mel) drive us to the nearby Katong nursery and a very kind-looking man there helped to put my shoots in their own little brown pot (!!!) for free! Because he was so nice, and also because I wandered around while he potted them, I decided to buy another little pot of sweet basil. So now I have TWO little pots!

Came home and excitedly watered them and placed them in the sunniest spot. =D hee!!! I really hope they get roots and grow big and strong (so I can EAT! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!) If these first two live it out, I might think about expanding into rosemary and parsley, which I also saw at the nursery... heh.

Yup, that was my exciting weekend!

home is where the heart is

2008-10-13T15:04:00.003+08:00

Had a good talk with my mum last week, at our weekly dinner with the family =)

Some people wonder why Mel and I spend so much time with our families on a weekly basis, but it's just important to both of us that we do, because our families are so much a part of who we are, and why we are who we are... and our parents aren't growing any younger too...

Also, since getting married and moving out, I've come to treasure my parents a whole lot more, appreciating all the behind-the-scenes sacrifices they have made in the past to bring me up, keep the house clean, and paying the bills. =)

Anyway, so I had a really nice talk with mummy last week, cos we had an hour for just the two of us, mel being in church and daddy being out with his friends, and it was just very inspiring and scary and eye-opening, to hear about the difficulties that she and my dad went through to have me, and to get a glimpse into how emotionally stressful it was for them, especially her. And the sacrifices they made to bring me up the way they did (my mum gave up her job to look after me). Of course I won't go into the details, but I'm very moved by my parents' love for me, waaaaayyyy before I was born, and the ways in which they trusted God to carry them (and me) through tough times.

When mel picked me up after his mtg, I cried in the car (this is quite a common occurrence for my poor hubby), but not out of sadness, but an overwhelming sense of gratitude for life, love and family.

I can only hope and pray that Mel and I will be as wonderful parents as our parents have been, and find the grace and strength in God to persevere through the tough times that we will have. =)

here's to our parents!

out of touch

2008-09-20T22:36:00.002+08:00

it's been quite a while...

finally got my fingers out of the rut to blog again =)

what's triggered this? well too many events to mention in detail... just feeling pretty emo from the realization that so much has changed in the past decade of my life, relationships wise, and there's no turning back the clock, but there's also no desire to in a way.

i've gained some, i've lost some. friends, that is. some who I might not have thought would be "friends for life" are, in fact, that. no questions asked, no strings attached. I don't quite understand how and why, but I am grateful for these ones.

and for other groups of friends, i look back with such nostalgia at our memories of good times and bad, but somehow that's enough - to have these memories. I dun feel any kind of impulse or motivation to make these friendships more than they have been. NOT because i don't treasure the friendships, it's just, i really am happy to just recollect our experiences and be thankful for that, and not feel the need to make the friendships go further

not sure if my readers will know what i mean. hmmm...

i do think about how my friendships and relationships, and even outlook on life!, would be so different now if I had made different friends at each stage of my life. so I am thankful for every person who has been a part of my life, because i know it made a difference, to my life and their's.

but I don't know how to think about it after that point - do i develop close relationships with ALL my friends from the past? it just seems impossible and unnecessary, as much as i want to. i DO want to... but choices have to be made, because i just can't keep up with everyone (or catch up), and i have limited energy, and I dun even like big groups in the first place, and i'm busy with work etc etc etc. and how do you choose who to spend time with anyway? there's a good reason to spend time with almost anyone!

i know some will see those as excuses, but i really think they're not. it's just life - it's not easy to find balance.

so, i guess I'm just coming to terms with how i feel, and how others feel, and learning to deal with all the emotions and frustrations and mis-comms that come with that, and trying to not let my self esteem take a battering in the course of that.

to all my friends, whether close or not, near or far, i DO treasure you, and i hope you are doing great, and that you'll know that Someone is watching over you... (not me, God). do take care. =)

Snooze Checkout tonight!

2008-08-26T15:56:00.002+08:00

Yes it's TONIGHT!!!

I'm quite excited and stressed!!! =D

My duckies taking flight... *awww*

Anyway I know it's not the main thing, but I was pretty free yesterday, so I ventured to make some yummy treats for the guests coming tonight. =) Thanks Dawn & Yann for the muffin book!!!

1. Rum-Raisin-Coffee muffins

2. White choc chip-Cranberry cupcakes

3. Triple chocolate cookies

Anyway for those who are wondering what a Checkout is...

It's basically like a full-dress rehearsal, or a preview performance. Main aim is to allow the band to experience a real audience, and for us to get feedback on our program and stage presence etc. =)

cluck cluck cluck!

2008-08-09T22:32:00.002+08:00

while most of the nation was huddled around their television sets last night, I and about 7 other girls and er... 1 guy.. were having a cluckety-good time at my friend's Hen Night.

For those not in the know, this is the official description of a 'hen night':

A bachelorette party, hen party, or hen's night, is a party held for a woman who is about to be married as a rite of passage, and is also known as the woman's last night of freedom. The term "hen party" or "hens night" is more common in the UK, Ireland, and Australia, while the term "bachelorette party" is more common in the United States and the term "stagette" is used in Canada [1]. It may also be referred to as a "hen's night", "stagette", "girl's night out" or "kitchen tea" (South Africa in particular) in other English-speaking countries. Parties are usually all-female, and, if held at home, may be held as "pamper parties", or may be used to compare products like lingerie and women's sex toys (WE DIDN"T DO THIS HOR) or to play such games as: "Truth or Dare", "Pass the Balloon", or a risqué version of "Consequences".

Anyway it was really fun meeting some old friends again =) and a couple of new ones too! I laughed so much at some points that I teared! Here are 3 most memorable moments:

1. Sitting cozily in our corner at Loof sipping a lychee martini and appreciating the fact that, although each girl (and 1 guy) is so different in personality and life philosophy and life journey etc... we are all linked by the thread of friendship - no matter if it's tenuous or a thick rope! it's a nice fuzzy feeling...

2. Playing finger twister with a friend I haven't seen for ages! =D Finger twister is twister, but played with the fingers (duh). It's really quite tiring, and can be excruciating to hold the hand in various positions.

3. Feeling really touched when two of my good friends (I don't have best friends btw) gave me my belated Christmas and bday gifts. I was a bit shocked, actually, cos it was quite a lot of pressies! (Thank yoU!!!) and also moved that they thought so much of me. I do treasure our friendship of some 10 years now... and looking forward to all their weddings!!! =D

my new family =)

2008-07-29T11:23:00.002+08:00

cousins and in-laws on mel's side. don't we look colourful!

my nephew and niece! awww...

first loaf

2008-07-21T16:12:00.002+08:00

my first attempt at a loaf of bread...

well, yeah, it was a little hard, and a little dense, and not as springy and airy as I'd hoped... =b But it was my pride and joy for all of 15 minutes as I cut it and left it to cool on the rack in all its golden glory =)

maybe next time it will be 'bread-ier' =D

friends over for dinner

2008-06-29T19:02:00.002+08:00

haven't had friends over for a while... tonight have 2 gals coming, haven't seen one for almost a year! haha...

anyway quite pleased with my culinery achievement for tonight. Thanks God nothing burned...

1. sorta-soba noodles - wheat pasta with prawns and peppers in a sweet-spicy sauce.

2. honey mustard-bbq chicken

3. brownie and ice cream

the first 2 are from RachaelRay site - my new fav place to get interesting and easy recipes. the last... er... i have betty crocker to thank =b

they should be arriving anytime soon!

on a more blah note, there's someone who's been very insensitive (not just to me) of late, and i'm thinking of how to handle things. want to speak to the person, but quite scared lah... confrontation is NOT my thing... anyway, food for thought for me *hmmm*

happy fathers' day

2008-06-15T18:50:00.003+08:00

my poor blog seems to be petering out... =b but i still want to blog, and i shall, i shall i shall.

heh heh

there's so much to update. hmmm... three main things lah.

~one~

we are eleven months married! just one month to the ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY. oh man... time flies so so fast. i have tons to be thankful about for the past 11 months. quite a few people told me that the first year of marriage is the hardest, expect a lot of fights and adjustments etc... and it honestly stressed me out a bit!

but as I look back, it really has been a journey of more joy than pain. yes, we do quarrel now and then, but we haven't had a massive blowout (at least not yet lah. phew) and we both tend to talk things out asap and not keep it all inside or overnight, so I think that helps a lot (good advice from the marriage counsellors!). and of course, God has been a key anchor in keeping us humble before one another - cos pride can be quite a destroyer.

so yes, i'm really happy! love you dearie =)

~two~

i'm leading a new band, called snooze. (check us out at snoozetheband.wordpress.com) it's been an exciting (and stressful) journey of trusting God, learning the ropes of leadership all over again, and planning the program. Recruitment has been no piece of cake, and we're still searching for a drummer!

now i have TWO blogs to look after, so that's a bit challenging. heh

~three~

our church pastor (i used "our" without thinking!!!) shared sth funny with us today. He heard this song on the radio and he shared it with all the daddies in the congregation.

You better shape up,
'cause I need a man
and my heart is set on you.
You better shape up;
you better understand
to my heart I must be true.

Yup, it's from the musical Grease.

too many dads give up on love, on family life, on their kids - too early. but this world needs DADS WHO CARE, dads who will go the extra mile for their wife and kids, dads who really lead and protect their families. God needs men such as these to lead the families of today. So you better shape up! =)

my first church camp

2008-06-01T20:55:00.002+08:00

tomorrow morning we leave for Port Dickson for church camp. it's my first camp in my new church so feeling a bit spooked out slash scared slash excited. heh. i really don't know that many people yet, so i'm hoping to make friends. but then again, it's been a tiring past week, and i'm not really up to making small talk and lame jokes too. hmmm...

thank God that mel will be there. we're in this together! =)

on a different note, i'm really psyched that the youth band has a BLOG! check out snoozetheband.wordpress.com! this is a new band that forerunner is launching, and I'm co-leading it with Evon. We're still short of drummer... so if you got people in mind, do let me know!

Anyways the blog was just launched today, so it's still quite bare for now... =b but I look forward to seeing it fill up over the days, weeks, months to come!

a story in song

2008-05-19T12:47:00.002+08:00

yesterday my pastor used this story as part of its sermon. so i hunted for it online today. and i actually found it - not in a story, but in a song! here is is: The Touch of The Master's Hand by Wayne Watson

Well, it was battered and scarred
An the auctioneer felt
It was hardly worth his while
To waste much time on the old violin
But he held it up with a smile
It sure ain't much
But it's all we got left
I guess we ought to sell it too
Now who'll start the bid on this old violin
Just one more and we'll be through

And then he cried
One, give me one dollar
Who'll make it two
Only two dollars
Who'll make it three
Three dollars twice
Now that's a good price
But who's got a bid for me
Raise up your hand
And don't wait any longer
The auction's about to end
Who's got four
Just one dollar more
To bid on this old violin

Well the air was hot
And the people stood around
As the sun was setting low
From the back of the crowd a gray-haired man
Came forward, picked up the bow
He wiped the dust from the old violin
And tightened up the strings
Then he played out a melody pure and sweet
Sweeter than the angels sing

And then the music stopped
And the auctioneer with a voice that was quiet and low
He said
What am I bid for this old violin
Then he held it up with a bow

(Chorus)
Then he cried out
One, give me one thousand
Who'll make it two
Only two thousand
Who'll make it three
Three thousand twice
Well, that's a good price
But who's got a bid for me
The people cried out
What made the change
We don't understand
Then the auctioneer stopped
And he said with a smile
It was the touch of the master's hand

Now you know
Many a man with a life out of tune
Is battered and scarred with sin
And he's auctioned cheap to a thankless world
Much like that old violin
Then the master comes and the foolish crowd
They never understand
The worth of a soul
And the change that is wrought
Just by one touch of the Master's hand

fly away

2008-04-24T23:53:00.002+08:00

that's the title of one of the songs we talked abt during a program brainstorm today. feels a bit like how i feel right now. had some misunderstanding with someone, and it's not resolved yet (hopefully will be soon =b), so that's weighing heavy on my mind. and did something really selfish today, that totally shocked me, and humbled me - realizing i am so far from learning how to love and be a servant-leader. and just a ton of work, and other non-work stuff, to process, that's weighing heavy on me.

but i'm not sad. i do feel happy to be where i am - sadistic though that may be. feel like i'm learning a lot, from God, from my colleagues, from the people i observe, from stories i hear, and from just reflection time. so that's my silver lining. =)

and i'm really thankful thankful thankful for my dear hubby. this morning, i ventured to try a new recipe for nutella frosted cupcakes. after all the measuring and mixing, i discovered i had no more cupcake cups! man. and it was raining. but my sweet and sacrificial hubby, who was working at home today, drove me out to phoon huat to get the cups, without a word of complaint! how sweet is that...

if it were me, i'd probably have grumbled sth about 'how come you never check first?!?!"

so very thankful. and the cupcakes are quite yummy =) yay, new recipe success! =)

Impressed

2008-04-14T16:33:00.001+08:00

Just ate an oreo cheesecake baked by Sharon's hubby, and it's really yummy - even the slightly chao tah crust... just felt the urge about it, because i haven't blogged anything for a while, and it was yum. =)

Day 7-8: Back to Tokyo

2008-03-31T14:11:00.002+08:00

Ohno met us at Haneda Airport and brought us to a small hotel he had helped us book for our last night in Japan. =) After a yummy meal of hot soba, we set off for Ikebukuro to meet Haramichi and explore Sunshine City more.

They brought us to Namja Town!

Namja is the name of the cat who is the main character of this amusement park. There were LOTS of people there cos it was a public holiday. The whole place was set to look like old Tokyo - all retro lights and facades and shops...

Then we went up to the second level..

Ice Cream City!!!

They had lots of these game machines there. I tried to win this Piyo Piyo duck, but skill not there lah. =b

This is Namja the Cook.

Me eating an Ice Strawberry, Caramel ad Chocolate Sauce Crepe!!! SOOOOO delicious! Shared with mel.

From L to R: Ohno, Mel, Me, Haramichi

After that we went up to the 60th floor viewing gallery where you can see almost the whole of Tokyo! But it was still raining heavily, so we couldn't see much =(

view from the top.

they brought us to this japanese restaurant that's all bamboo. the floors and walls - all bamboo poles, with some rice paper sections! we had to remove our shoes and put into lockers at the entrance, and from there, it was barefoot all the way (slippers provided in the toilet). we had our own little room for privacy too!

A palette of traditional japanese appetizers! (can't remember the names though)

Got the cute trainee waitress to take pic for us. =)

Our main course - pork and burdock with japanese rice. =) my first time trying burdock, which i've read about in totto-chan. it's quite crunchy - like carrot - not a whole lot of taste, apart from the soy sauce that it's seasoned with. but in general a nice dish. =)

we also had a daikon salad with a jappy vinegar base as a side dish. i really want to try and make this dish in Singapore!

matcha green tea icce cream for dessert

Our last morning in Japan (sob sob) we walked the streets of Tokyo, and took pictures of these pretty streetside flower boxes, put there, it think, to announce the arrival of Spring!

We found a second hand CD shop, and browsed there for AGES! I was very happy with my singles of Utada and Do As Infinity! =)

Lunch in a dingy but cozy jap place.

tonkatsu don set. the meat was a bit tough =( but i liked the side dish of steamed veggies, esp steamed yam and sweet potato!

waiting a the airport. our flight was delayed, so we had to hang around for almost 4 hours!!! the outdoor viewing gallery, where this pic was taken, was very nice. but very COLD. so we only stayed there about 10 minutes!

we didn't have sushi the whole time we were in Japan! so for our last meal, we decided we MUST eat sushi! =) notice how the fish meat is significantly longer than the rice - not like those puny chunks they serve in Singapore. and the egg was almost double the size of the rice underneath it! =D

beautiful origami exhibition in the departure lounge. WOW!!!

then it was back to Singapore... but I had a WONDERFUL time, and i'm so happy to have had this break! and i got to watch Juno on the flight back! =) heh.

Day 5 and 6: Hiroshima

2008-03-28T14:16:00.002+08:00

Day 5 was another rainless day =) Mel had his second day of meetings, so I set off to explore another side of Hiroshima.

Our breakfast at the hotel. Traditional japanese fare, including steamed veggies (sweet potato, carrots and pumpkin!), japanese rice, tiny mackerel, raw squid, and egg roll (tamago).

Mel on his way to his meeting.

It was a loooong walk to Hijiyama Park, which is actually a small hill. Walking up...

Stopped at the Museum of Contemporary Art, but the display pieces were kind of disappointing for me. Or maybe I just can't appreciate the world of surrealist and pop art. =b

Look familiar?

Then I went to Hiroshima Station and took a train out (Kure line) to Saka Bay Side Beach. It was a bit scary to take a new train system on my own, but thank God I found a helpful ticket agent. =) This is the beach, all, er... fenced up =(

After that disappointment, headed back to the main city and went to Uniqlo! Where I found my grey Jappy jacket thing for 1000 yen (S$13.80)!!!

Dinner with the guys again that night. Shabu-shabu is the Japanese name for steamboat. "Shabu shabu" is the sound the meat makes as the very thin slices are swished around in the boiling water to cook! Then you straight away dump the cooked strips in either one of the sauces in front of you. the black one is soy sauce with vinegar, and the other is a sweeter thicker one (i can't remember the name!!)

the meat!

the sauces

corn, rice cake and udon - to be cooked in the steamboat water after all the meat has been cooked - kind of like a closing to the meal.

Because the guys had managed to finish their work in record time, it was also a celebration dinner that the project meetings were over one day in advance!!!

So Day 6 mel was free =) went with him and a colleague to see Shukkuein Garden. It was quite beautiful, but it was all drippy and wet, so hard to fully enjoy the beauty and to take good pictures...

Mel and his colleague

My new shoes getting wet and sandy...

Mel and me =)

The rest of the day was spent in Uniqlo and napping back at the hotel. It was that kind of a day - the drippy, icky, want-to-stay-in-bed-and-slack kind of day =)

Day 3-4 - Tokyo-Hiroshima

2008-03-26T14:38:00.003+08:00

We had the morning to explore Ginza before leaving for Haneda Airport (which btw is cooler than Narita!) to fly to Hiroshima.

Mel took lots of pics of this Nissan Sportcar (can't remember the exact name =b) at the Nissan showroom. Me, I was just fascincated with observing the clothes of the people observing the car =)

I love this Japanese sweets/snacks shop! All the stuff in it is hand-made by them, and packaged oh-so-beautifully, and fresh! No preservatives used. We got a few treats for our families, and also a small bag of sugared sweet potato slices for ourselves!

Then it was off to the airport and on to Hiroshima!

The view from our hotel, Mitsui Garden Hotel, along Peace Promenade.

Dinner with Doug and John, mel's colleagues from the US. I found out about this pokey little restaurant online, and it was quite easy to find. Okonomiyaki is known as Japanese pancake - comprising of layers of ingredients cooked one after the other and stacked up. It was quite fun to watch our food being cooked so meticulously and then eat it hot off the grill!

FYI, the layers are in this order: pancake mix, shredded lettuce, taoge (wuraishi - which I managed to explain NO NO I DON'T WANT), chickpeas, brown sauce and various spices, strips of bacon, noodles, flip it over, crack egg, move on top of egg, flip again so egg if now on top, more brown sauce and some sort of mayo. mmmmmmm =)

Day 4: mel's first day of meetings, so I was free to explore Hiroshima by myself until evening.

String of colourful paper cranes - you'll find lots of these all over the city at the various landmarks or parks. This was hanging from a tree at the entrance to the Atomic Bomb Memorial Park. the cranes symbolize hope to them.

The T-shaped Aoi Bridge, where the bomb was dropped. It exploded quite high up in the air, before reaching the bridge, so the mushroom cloud that was emitted from its centre was radiated over a really great distance, destroying life and homes in the process.

Just one of the many heart-wrenching facts/stories that I saw in the Museum.

Outside the Museum, I met this Japanese student from Sendai who's on holiday, and we spent a while talking. Quite nice and surreal. Then got another tourist to take our picture in front of the Cenotaph.

The Children's Monument, set up in memory of Sadako, a Japanese girl who was 2 when the bomb hit, and was only diagnosed with leukemia as an after-effect of the radiation when she was 12. Believing that making 1000 paper cranes would make her wish to continue living come true, she made many of the cranes in her last few months, but sadly she passed away in the end. In memory of her dream and hope, many primary school children visit this memorial every year and leave behind beautiful artwork made out of paper cranes.

From the Park, I walked to the grounds of Hiroshima Castle. But I didn't go INTO the castle itself, cos it's supposed to be mostly an exhibition of armour, which I have no interest in =b

The beautiful moat outside the castle. As you can see, the castle is right next to office buildings, right smack in the middle of the city!

I was so excited and happy to see this! My first experience of Cherry Blossoms, or Sakura as they call it.

Up close. =)

Then it was on to Hondori Street, the main shopping street of Hiroshima City. It's quite short - about the distance of Cineleisure to WIsma Atria.

100 yen shop! I love it!!! My best buys were a palette of eyeshadow, a star-shaped cake pan, a brown bag for work, and fizzy soda sweets!

The archway over the whole of Hondori Street

Met up with mel's whole team for dinner (all staying at same hotel) and John felt like "lots of beef" so we found this Korean Charcoal BBQ restaurant. My first time eating charcoal grilled food in a restaurant! On the grill are sweet potato, onions and thin slivers of seasoned beef!

Group picture!

Day 1-2: Tokyo Part 1!

2008-03-24T16:55:00.003+08:00

Day 1

my first meal - garlic chashu ramen

wet streets of tokyo. muji!!!

Day 2

funky looking guitars - they come in so many shapes and sizes and colours! there are lots of guitar shops down Jimbocho and Ochanomizu streets. mel was very happy, i think.

pic wth joy (friend from Spore). i look er... a bit fat. think it's my hair all pulled back. =b

isn't it beautiful? we had strawberry cake, chocolate cake and coffee after our ramen lunch. one SLICE, not the whole cake..

our lovely ethnic-cuisine dinner, with Japanese friends ohno and haramichi. above are tom yum soup and prawn-avocado salad.

ohno and haramichi with the restaurant mascot elephant. heh.

thankful =)

2008-03-23T09:24:00.002+08:00

i'm back now. we got back at 3am yesterday morning, and slept the rest of the morning away until noon. heh.

our last day in hiroshima was really drippy... soggy and unrelenting drizzles and strong winds, so it was quite coldddddd... but still wanted to make full use of the time, so we ventured to plod the 2km or so to Shukkuein Gardens, together with mel's colleague from china.

it was really a beautiful garden. traditional japanese landscaping made it look like a scene from a calendar, even though everywhere was wet wet wet. the trees are painstakingly trimmed to resemble bonsai, at certain parts, and the garden is neatly organised into herb garden, plum blossom garden, cycad garden (they look weird) and little verandas to sit at along the way. only problem was the little verandahs were wet too. haha

after a morning of taking pictures in the garden, we headed off for lunch and then afternoon shopping at hondori street! but by now i had explored almost the whole street already, so there wasn't too much to see. so we went back to the hotel by mid afternoon, and rested in the room until dinner time. went out to look -no hunt - for curry rice, and finally managed to find a shop, and had yummy curry rice! the curry in japan is different from singapore - it's got a sweet taste to it, and it's not really hot, and it's very thick, almost like a gravy.

next morning, we left for tokyo.

ohno met us at the airport, and brought us to a late lunch, then to namjatown, which is a kind of amusement park made in the style of retro tokyo. haramichi met us there too. the main character is a cute cat (called namja lah), and there are various game stalls, toy stalls, lots of food (mostly gyoza) and MANY people. it was a public holiday, so i guess more students came to play the games.

i really liked the whole ambience of the place - kept taking pictures and making the guys do silly poses. hee hee... we also had crepes there, and mel and i shared a giant strawberry custard with chocolate sauce crepe. =D

after that, and shopping in the area a bit, we were suddenly quite tired. so had to cancel dinner plans with some other friends, joy and seng =( as they lived quite a long way from our hotel. so instead went to a nearby place for dinner with the guys, and ohno and haramichi ordered the meal. it was a very cosy little japanese restaurant, and all the food was really yummy, and it was great fun talking to the guys, cos haramichi was just beginning to get comfy with us again. good to find out what's happening in their lives, the story behind the girls they are dating now, their ambitions in life, their problems... really treasure the openness they are slowly having with us.

after dinner, it was straight back to the hotel to rest, because we wanted to wake up early for tsukiji market the next day. BUT when we reached the hotel, we were too tired liao (shame faced) so we didn't bother to set the early alarm. =( it's kinda sad cos i was really looking forward to it, and the market is going to be torn down really soon cos they are relocating, but we were really too tired. so... hopefully we can come back before the move.

last morning in tokyo, we went back to ikebukuro and just walked along the streets on and on, with not much mood to shop, feeling a bit sad that it was time to go already. had a delicious tonkatsu lunch, then went back to the hotel early, cos we had decided to take the normal local train to the airport, to save money. so that took us almost 3 hours total to reach the airport. THEN we found out our flight was delayed. bah.

so we had 4 hours to spend in the airport. at first it seemed like such a long period of time, but the time seemed to fly by quite fast! we had photo moments at the outdoor and freezing viewing gallery, ate sushi from a conveyor belt restaurant, bought some last few japanese goodies, and ooh-ed and ahh-ed at the beautifully crafted origami scenes at an origami exhibition. then it was time for our boarding.

as the plane pulled out of the airport, and i saw the bright lights of tokyo below us and around us, i was filled with a huge sense of thankfulness for this whole trip - a welcome respite from the busyness of work and chockful of precious moments with mel, singapore friends and japanese friends - and also sadness, because i don't know when we will be back again. i really love japan - it's more than the great shopping, the crazy fashion and the kimonos. i love the way people are there, their politeness and their friendliness, the way they walk in the streets, the lights, the beautiful language and the red-cheeks of toddlers. i feel sad for their aloneness, even in such a crowded city, for their unfulfilled dreams and longings, for their distanced families, and for the many girls who give themselves away.

i hope we can go back soon...

last day in hiroshima

2008-03-19T08:17:00.002+08:00

woke up to grey skies and rainddrops today. turns out today and tomorrow are gonna be wet wet wet days. bah.

yesterday i had another exciting day of exploration. morning i had personal retreat (a short one though) at the Cafe downstairs. oh man, all the coffee is japan is so good...

then walked to hijiyama park, which is a park set on a 70m high hill (so kind of like mount faber i guess?) it was quite tiring, cos it took quite a long while to walk there, and then had to climb it. so, me being the fairly unfit person i am, i didn't quite make it to the top =b but at least halfway lah. and i went to the museum of contemporary art there, which was a major disappointment, cos i didn't like most of the artwork, and you have to PAY to go in to see, so quite irritated abt that. but the outer coutyard was nice to sit in and enjoy the view from, and there were some sculptures and stuff there to admire too.

then it was another looooonnnnggg walk to hiroshima station - about 50min - across bridges and pedestrian walkways. hee... it was quite nice, just following the river flow. i met a man and asked for directions, to make sure i was on the right direction, and he was quite shocked i was planning to walk there! hee... but i MADE IT!

finally reached the station, and had a nice, fast lunch in one of those vending machine type restaurants - you order your meal via vending machines, and you get a ticket, and you use the ticket to 'claim' your meal at a counter, and you stand and eat as fast as you can. quite fun!

then i took the train out to Mizushiri, cos i had read in a website about a beautiful beach side town at Saka. But when the train finally trundled its way into the totally ulu stop, i was kind of disappointed, cos yes, the sea was there, but i didn't see no beach side town, and the whole beach was fenced up anyway!! but since i had paid money and spent time to get there, i just walked along the beach, took pictures through the fence, and enjoyed the fresh salty sea breeze =) so it wasn't too bad. but i had hoped to be able to actually SIT by the beach and sip a drink - like those shots you see on tv. silly website.

made my way back to Hiroshima station, and took a streetcar to Katchobori, which is near some big departmental stores. but i knew where i was heading - no big expensive department stores for me. i made a beeline for the information desk and asked for Tokyu Hands and Uniqlo. =) Yay!!!

Uniqlo was FANTASTIC. after a few disappointments in the morning, this store did not disappoint. i came out with a very jappy grey cropped jacket and a tank top - but i had great fun trying on about 20 things in the changing room! (i know, i'm terrible for the salespeople who have to clean up after me =b)

after that, i had no energy to crawl over to Tokyu hands, so i made my way back to the hotel (walking again) and slumped on the bed exhausted. heh.

at night, went with the guys to eat shabu shabu, sapporo beer and sake. i love sapporo beer! but i dun really like the sip of sake that i had. maybe too strong for me... it was a celebration dinner of sorts, cos the project meetings had gone so well, that they don't need to meet up today! they just have individual paper work they need to do.

apparently they'll need to meet up again in loveland (colorado) in august, and doug and john (the americans) asked me to come! hee... they said they'd love to drive us around and bring us to see the black hills and yellowstone park and eat charcoal grilled burgers etc etc. so... we'll see. i have doubts i'll get leave. hee

but it was really nice of them, and i'm kinda sad that we're leaving. i mean, i've only known them for 2 days, and it was intimidating at first, but... they're really nice people. the two americans have kids in their teens, and yobun, the japanese guy, turned out to be 61! haha... the china guy is alot younger - about my age i think. all in all, quite a motley crew, but a nice one. =)

today mel and i have the day free, cos of the project meetings ending, so we're deciding where to go now. maybe to the kintai kyo bridge, which is about an hour train out. we'll see... hopefully the rain stops soon.

(thank you liling! i will.)

i'm loving it!

2008-03-17T20:10:00.002+08:00

every day has been really wonderful, in many little ways and some big ways.

the first 2+ days, we were in tokyo. got to meet up with seng and joy, friends from Singapore, and enjoyed catch up time over steaming bowls of ramen, followed by strawberry cake and cafe mocha! it's great to hear the 'real' side of missionary life - kind of balances off my over-enthusiasm about all things Japan, in a good way.

also enjoyed time with ohno and haramichi, friends i have known in tokyo since 2001 on my first trip there! they brought us to this really cool ethnic restaurant called The Elephant, just above a 4 storey GAP boutique! haha... but i didn't go to GAP loh - no sale. for dinner, we ordered tom yum soup, curry naan, vietnamese spring rolls and shrimp & avocado salad. mmmmmmmm =)

most of the time in tokyo we were on our own though. we explored shibuya, shijuku, harajuku and ginza! it was kinda surreal being alone for the first time - i've always been with ohno and/or haramichi on previous trips. but mel and i managed not to get lost, thanks mostly to his good sense of direction!

on to hiroshima~

we arrived here yesterday evening. flew over with doug, john and yobun - mel's counterparts from the US and tokyo respestively. it's the first time i've met his colleagues (aside from the GE annual D&D), so i felt quite shy at first, not knowing how to make conversation. somemore they're about 2-3 decades older than me. yobun could be my dad! =b hee.

but it's been a good learning experience i guess. now and then i get lost in their 'work talk' cos there are lots of acronyms and codes i don't know (and can't rally be bothered to =b)

but ANYWAY. so meetings started proper for them today - 9-5 - and will carry on for another 2 days or so.

today i went EXPLORING. i walked from 9am to 4pm! quite an achievement!!! i'm really quite proud of myself. i didn't get lost, and i managed to find 3 places that i wanted to go to from the hotel map.

first stop was the atomic bomb memorial site. i went through the 3-storey museum with an audio guide. it was really devastating. there were some showcases where i really felt very very sad for all that the innocent villagers had to go through. i also learnt a LOT of history in an hour, since i never ventured past sec 2 history in school. took lots of pictures too, because photography is allowed, without flash.

next, i walked round the park, which is pretty big. took pics and various monuments, especially at the children's monument, built in memory of Sadako-chan - a 12 year old girl who died from leukemia, part of the the after-effects of the radiation. (there were lots of these cases, called hikabashi) at her memorial statue are thousands and thousands of colourful paper cranes, made by school children, a symbol of hope.

oh! i met a guy in the park. it was kind of cool, cos we helped each other take pictures, and ended up talking for a while, before saying goodbye. why it's cool? he's a student from sendai, another part of Japan, and it's his holidays, so he's been biking for days (and will continue to) on his own road trip! so i think it's pretty cool that i met him in hiroshima on MY own exploration trip.

second stop was hiroshima castle. it was a really long walk to get there, but it was worth it! before i came here, i had been told by most people that the cherry blossoms would only be out in april. but guess what?? in the garden of the castle were CHERRY BLOSSOMS!!! not one, but FIVE trees!!! it was so amazing to see them there. i almost jumped for joy (but of course i didn't, really) but there wasn't mel to share my joy with yet, so i contented myself with taking pictures. i'll upload them when i get home.

i didn't go INTO the castle, cos i read on the website that it's mostly armour and swords, of which i have no interest. instead i explored the garden and took pictures of the moat, the flowers, and a shrine that was in the grounds.

third stop was hondori street - which is like a bugis village. lots of small little shops line an avenue, and i had a wonderful three hours exploring every little nook that took my fancy! (but i had a budget... so i thought very hard about every purchase - which means everything i bought i REALLY love!)

here's my top three buys for today: a blue empire-waist top 500yen, a star shaped cake pan 100 yen, and a children's book from the memorial museum souvenir shop, on a little girl who loved to play the piano (the girl and the piano both survived the bomb blast, but were both in bad shape. however years later, the piano was restored and still plays beautiful music today. and there's an enclosed CD with a piano piece played on that piano. so moving... if only i could read ALL the japanese, but i've only been able to pick up bits and pieces from each page in my limited japanese) 1600yen

finally made my way back to the hotel, and met mel and the guys for dinner. we went to a korean bbq place. i've never had a charcoal bbq in a restaurant, so it was a novel experience!

tomorrow i'm planning to walk even further, cos I want to go to hijiyama park, where there's a few museums, and also supposed to have lots of cherry blossoms!!! after that, it's on to shukkien gardens, where it's a traditional japanese landscape, with little ponds and herb gardens to see!

and then will TRY to find fukuya department store, where the parking attendant i met today told me i could find uniqlo and tokyu hands, which i want to see.

hee... the good thing about all this walking is that i don't feel the least bit guilty about eating my fair share at dinner with the guys! haha!

nihon ni ikimasu!

2008-03-14T05:08:00.002+08:00

at the airport with mel now, waiting for our flight to board. =)

yes, i'm going back to Japan!!! =) it's my first time going there as a tourist, and with no agenda, except to eat, shop, take photos, and spend time with mel... really looking forward to this welcome break from a hectic few months of work, and excited cos we'll be going to Hiroshima, a part of Japan I've never seen before!

in case you're wondering, it's mel's business trip actually, so he'll pretty much be in meetings most of the time in hiroshima. but we extended the trip 2 days to spend as a mini holiday in tokyo. =) can't wait to meet up with D&J, ohno and haramichi!!!

hope that the weather there won't be as rainy as it is in Singapore these days... heh

ok gg to board the plane now. ja mata!

love waits

2008-02-29T22:08:00.002+08:00

just watched the leap years with mel (he's out today!) it was really beautiful, both in story and in scene. i love the artistry of some of the shots, and i REALLY love watching wong li lin. i might not agree with all her philosophies on life, but i do admire her acting and her beauty.

it was really touching, and i had tears in my eyes at quite a few points in the film. poignant - that's the word.

for me, the main message of the film was that "true love is worth waiting for". i could really identify with some of the feelings she went through, in longing to be loved, and yet not giving in to being attached for the sake of being attached, and the struggle of that. of course i had it much easier than her character in the film =b

last night was a tough night work-wise for me, so enjoying this romantic love story was a great way to end this day of recovery. =)

what goes down must come up =)

2008-02-27T15:01:00.003+08:00

thankful to all my dear friends who have or are concerned about my current mood.

i won't say i'm feeling WONDERFUL just yet, but i definitely feel better than last week. =)

i'm sorry it's a bit hard to explain or pinpoint why i feel this way, but i guess there are 3 main components:

1. mel is in camp for 3 weeks. he comes out on alternate days

2. frustrations and conflicts that are mostly inside-my-head-only this past week

3. feeling spiritually dry and disconnected from God. i've honestly never felt this way before, so it feels very troubling and frustrating and sad and confusing... just feeling like the 'line was cut' or something. and being the impatient sort, i want it to be all ok and restored NOW. but it's not... so just waiting.

"For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return there without watering the earth, and making it bear and sprout, and furnishing seed to the sower and bread to the eater; so shall my word be which goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, without accomplishing what i desire, and without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it. For you will go out with joy, and be led forth with peace."
Isaiah 55:10-12

i am feeling...

2008-02-25T15:16:00.002+08:00

misunderstood

unappreciated

frustrated

disappointed

irritated

stressed

grouchy

unloving

unlovable too

selfish

proud

sad

grateful

loved

abandoned

confused

blah

but i am OK.

*wry smile*

so small

2008-02-23T12:22:00.001+08:00

What you got if you ain't got love
the kind that you just want to give away
It's okay to open up
go ahead and let the light shine through
I know it's hard on a rainy day
you want to shut the world out and just be left alone
But don't run out on your faith

'Cause sometimes that mountain you've been climbing is just a grain of sand
What you've been up there searching for
forever is in your hands
When you figure out love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
seem so small

It's so easy to get lost inside
a problem that seems so big at the time
it's like a river thats so wide
it swallows you whole
While you sit around thinking about what you can't change
and worrying about all the wrong things
time's flying by
moving so fast
you better make it count 'cause you can't get it back

Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing is just a grain of sand
What you've been up there searching for
forever is in your hands
When you figure out love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
Seem so small

-- carrie underwood

becoming beautiful

2008-02-22T10:17:00.002+08:00

last night i witnessed something really beautiful. we were doing a concert on campus, and some of the girls from Andrew & Grace Home were there to perform as well.

what moved me the most was knowing that each of these girls have probably gone through more difficulties in life than i have experienced, both in their personal life and family life, and yet there they were, standing strong, taking steps to get back on the road to true life, overcoming addictions, discovering their value and worth, overcoming adversity.

somehow it brought to mind the analogy of a jewel, so i couldn't wait to blog it this morning!

some cool facts to know:

1. diamonds are formed when carbon bearing materials undergo lots of pressure, eg. in volcanic regions. it's really not easy to make a diamond. (although nowadays there are machines that can emulate the high pressure that would otherwise take hundreds of years to take effect.) but look at coal, how black and ugly and shapeless it is, and think of how much work, time and effort was needed to make that diamond solitaire around your neck or on your ring! likewise, i believe the girls, and in fact all of us, have gone through difficulties in life, big or small, that will 'pressure' us to become beautiful jewels in time.

2. diamond is the hardest known natural substance. In fact, a diamond can only be scratched by other diamonds. to me that reminds me that we can only shape and be an encouragement to each other as much as we ourselves have already been shaped and encouraged.

3. the best diamonds are colourless. The more 'coloured' the diamond is, the more impurities are present in the stone. the more colourless the diamond, the more dense it is - implying the higher the pressure it has endured. so it's really not easy to become a beautiful, pure gem.

4. diamonds are of great value. IE expensive. (i'm sure the guys would agree. heh heh) in contrast to coal, which most of us have bought at one time or another for a weekend bbq, and cost a minute fraction of the price. kind of ironic, considering it's just a few hundred years and lots of pressure that's creating this price difference! all this to say, i'm reminded that what may seem worthless or cheap in its original state actually has GREAT POTENTIAL to become that beautiful, shining and valuable jewel, like many of these young girls have become.

i'd like to think that i am a 'diamond in process'. I might not be colourless and perfectly shaped and shining just yet, but I know I am getting there, slowly but surely, and one day I will realize the true value of who I am, and who I have had the potential to be since the very beginning. and yet I know that even though I am not 'there' yet, I already have intrinsic value, just because of that God-given potential in me. =)

sparkling on...

marley and me

2008-01-28T10:34:00.000+08:00

my friend gave me this book as a Christmas present. Over the weekend, I proceeded to devour it, since I haven't had a good novel for a long time. and i must say, it's really a great book. really hilarious in many parts - the author has a wonderful way of making otherwise frustrating situations sound really funny and 'aww - some'. there are many moments which tug at the heartstrings. and the ending was so heart-rending that i was crying buckets in the car! (poor mel)

all dog lovers should definitely read it. and even for dog-neutrals like me, it really touched me to know how a dog can teach us humans so many lessons in life and love.

Pics from Christmas Party @ my house!

2008-01-26T12:22:00.000+08:00

Date: 27 Dec

my gatsby chandelier!

bee-you-tee-full display of absolut bottles! (i have all) i've been collecting them every time i go out of country since JC 1 when i fell in love with the bottle designs and branding. but no, i don't drink a lot of it - in fact, most of the bottles are still sealed and full =b

our wonderful train station-esque clock that we got from portobello market in london on our honeymoon

joy trying to fit herself into our zebra divan, that doubles up as storage space.

me at the food table cutting my apple crumble to serve for dessert! the feast included roasted veggies, pork and peaches, aglio olio, shepherds pie, chicken stew and garlic broccoli. mmmm yum.

evon happily displaying the crumble

it was joy's birthday! =) cake was lovingly baked by evon

grace who is back from her studies as a nurse overseas! it was fun to cook with her before the rest arrived. here she is sitting on my precious ikea bench.

CNY is complicated

2008-01-23T13:57:00.000+08:00

i'm only beginning to realise the complexity of Chinese New Year. On Sunday, i had a brief chat with my sis-in-law at church (thank God for her!) and was surprised to find out that there are FOUR family gatherings over CNY that we must attend. and this is just mel's side. my side also has two dinners. quite naturally, there are clashes in timings and dates. so, choices to make and some gatherings will be missed.

i guess it's difficult cos i want to spend time with my own family. i'm used to having time to slack over CNY too - just staying at home and watching tv. but now, with so many different dinners and lunches, it's all a bit... complicated. not that i don't love my in laws - i do! - it's just not the usual CNY.

and there's the added stress of having to buy goodies and stuff for family and self this year. normally my parents handle that kind of thing. i think i've only gone CNY shopping for foodstuff once or twice in my entire life! so it was a bit stressful to think of a list of what we should get, and to decide where to get it from etc etc.

the fun side of this is that we will get to spend more time with both sides of our families, and build relationships with the extended family, so i think that's a good thing. =) and i really liked decorating our home with some simple daiso stuff to make it more festive. theme of our first CNY is PINK! hee hee

and lastly, i'm going to try making my own pineapple tarts! well, ok, i'm cheating on the jam - i bought ready-made pineapple jam to use - but i'm making the pastry, which is a start right? my sis-in-law and maybe a few friends are coming over to join in the baking too! =) so i'm quite excited about seeing my very own tarties in the oven browning nicely (at least that's what i hope and envision for this Sunday)

jellybean junior chow

2008-01-15T13:41:00.000+08:00

jellybean is officially dead =( quite literally, brain dead. =b

apple staff told me that her logic board is spoilt, and repairs would be about $1.3K. (WHAT?!?!??!?!?!) so we decided to get a new one. happened to remember there's a new mac distributor called Jazz1 at Parkway, so we went there for lunch.

really thankful because we were just in time to benefit from their new year sale! =D

the discount price + a nice salesman + my whining + intelligent reasoning and bargaining + GOD'S GRACE = macbook + 4G RAM + applecare + wrist protector @ $2100

good deal right??

i was really full of joy as i watched them packing jellybean into the box. but more than that, really thankful for this good deal. as it is, it's an unexpected expense, so it's good to know we got what we need at a good price.

that said, i am still quite sad about jellybean. mel was suggesting we can put her in our showcase, cos we have the bottom shelf empty so far =b

anyway the new macbook is called jellybean junior, in memory of jellybean. and why chow? er, cos that's mel's surname =) and i've decided it's high time i became used to that and embraced the new name. =)

jellybean's grey screen of death

2008-01-08T14:15:00.000+08:00

my macbook (affectionately called jellybean) - actually mel and i share it - died last week =( We tried various means to revive her over the weekend, but to no avail. she's now at mac service centre @ wheelock place getting her illness diagnosed, but the outlook doesn't look too good. =(

chances are either the motherboard or connector is spoilt. hopefully it's the latter, cos that's a LOT cheaper to repair or replace. if it's the motherboard, we may have to think about getting another mac, cos it will be aout $1k to fix.

the hard disk also crashed at the same time (everything at one go man...), so quite a lot of my precious info is lost, cos i haven't had a habit of doing back-up regularly or frequently. sigh.

yesterday was particularly mournful, cos i had to hand my darling over to the service centre to inspect. i really felt quite dejected and miserable after that... but was encouraged a lot by mel's sweet smses, and encouragement from my colleagues, and remembering that it IS, after all, just a laptop.

was reminded today to trust God that even though it feels SAD right now, nothing happens without a reason. maybe its to teach me to be more conscientious about doing back-up and taking care of my mac. or maybe it's to show me how dependant i am on technology. or to give me a glimpse of how, if a single laptop can cause me so much 'grief', how much more painful real death is, and how much more precious life is. (i know, seems ironic that i learn about life from an inanimate object!)

so... hoping that the prognosis will be hopeful, and meanwhile, thankful that there's a spare PC in the office so I can blog this =)

merry Christmas!

2007-12-30T18:22:00.000+08:00

it's Christmas!

and amidst the decorations and baubles and presents, what i love is having the time and space to spend with family and friends... so it's been quite a busy two weeks of parties and meeting friends. =) but in the midst of it, have enjoyed a few God-moments that have made this season all the more special.

more on the parties later. but for now, i'm thankful for all that God has blessed me with in 2007, and for all that's ahead in 2008!

merry christmas and a happy new year to you!

God bless... =)

Some photos from Young Adults Thanksgiving Dinner

2007-12-14T16:12:00.000+08:00

My CG was in charge of decor. This is the food table...

This is what each place setting looked liked =)

My CG for 2007 =) But we'll be moving to another one next year. Will miss these guys and gals, even though I've only known them for a few months.

baking 101

2007-12-13T12:00:00.000+08:00

last saturday was my very first attempt at baking anything alone. actually, since i was sec 2 (Home-ec), i've only baked stuff 3 times - once with my aunt, once with a friend from church, and once with a colleague. but in all those times, i just followed instructions for the most part, and it was in their homes.

but last saturday i decided i would 'break-in' our new oven!!! *applause applause*

anyway it started off by making a trip down to phoon huat in the morning. so thankful that there's one just 4 bus stops away! =) heh heh. but getting all the basic equipment that i needed took a lot more time and energy and money than i had thought. i mean, considering that i had two empty baking drawers to begin with. heh.

finally got all that i needed, including the ilusive hand mixer that i finally located in one of those shops that sells clothes pegs and plastic baskets etc. haha... of all places...

anyway mel came and picked me up =D and we drove back home. but i had only 1 hour plus before we would have to leave for our Jap choir practice, so i could only make the dough and put it in the fridge.

we didn't get home till 10plus that night, so that's when the rolling commenced.

i can assure you that it's not easy to roll dough. especially since this was my first time EVERY rolling dough. wah lau... so tiring, and it kept cracking and sticking to the rolling pin. urgh... which i (i thought cleverly) solved by dumping more flour on the dough and over the pin.

i later realised that's why my cookies are significantly 'heavier' than the average sugar cookie. haha!

anyway here is the result of my hard work!

i actually only made 4 of these figures. the other cookies were star shaped (cookie mold) cos it's easier =)

the taste test? not bad =) although everyone seems to think they are butter cookies, i know they are actually sugar cookies in disguise =)

this friday will be attempt no 2 - i'm going to try apple crumble!!! =D Heh

enchanted fairytales

2007-12-04T09:33:00.001+08:00

have you seen the movie enchanted? i really loved it! it was a magical one hour plus in the cinema, and i was sad when it ended.

i know many people might not share my love for such movies that are all about good winning evil, happily ever afters and beautiful things. but anyway i like it =) (so did mel) it did get me thinking, though - some would even say it's bad to watch such stuff, and for children to be 'indoctrinated' with fairytales, because it's just too ideal and unrealistic.

well, i wouldn't indoctrinate my kid in fairytales for sure... but then again, i think fairytales are SO powerful, and i DON'T think they are evil or deceptive in teaching children the wrong truths about reality. i mean, sure you don't want your kid to grow up thinking santa claus really exists, or that the little hole in the wall might house a whole family of fairies... but to start them off by saying "there is no such thing as magic" is kinda extreme.

the world of fairytales, to me, brings with it a lesson of faith, of trust, of the power of good, of the power of love. and there's often something 'magical' about how things work out. i really do think these are great ideas for kids to have. NOT to the extreme that they start delviing into sorcery and black magic and all that stuff, but in the sense that it gives them handles for understanding how trust works (like how the damsel in distress is ALWAYS confident that her prince will come for her) and that dreams can and do come true. And if you don't even have that hope in the first place, how do you expect your kids to ever work towards their dreams, if all they can see is the 'harsh reality of life'?

kids will grow up eventually. and parents and schools have a big role to play in that process. but along the way, let's not steal the joy of childhood from them, or rob them of the chance to imagine a world that is beyond this one, while they still can.

i have a gatsby chandelier!

2007-12-01T10:59:00.000+08:00

some of you might know i'm a fan of the gatsby ads on telly. heh. why? cos i just love takuya kimura's floppy hair and bo chup attitude, and way he dances =) muahaha

anyway you know the recent ad, where he's dancing to himself in front of a mirror is a really luxe hotel suite or sth? well, our dining room light looks really similar to the chandelier in the ad! =D haha! except it's probably a fraction of the price, and it's BLACK (his is transparent)

it's being drilled into the ceiling as i type.

i really love it! shall post a picture of it up here soon... =)

I almost switched to WordPress!

2007-11-30T17:06:00.000+08:00

today i almost made the switch. my friend had told me how much better WordPress is, but after checking out their site, i felt it offered about the same as blogger. plus i felt sentimental about 'letting go' off my baby blog, which has been with me the past 3 years... so, i decided i'd settle for a new look. =)

it's been so quiet here, cos i've been swamped with work! esp the magazine that i'm working on for a campaign we are launching next year. it's been 4 months in the works, but the END IS NEAR... muahaha! tuesday is D Day we send to print! i'm excited and relieved that that's finally happening, but it's also kind of sad that it's almost over. call me masochistic, but i kind of enjoy the adrenalin that comes from having to meet deadlines and squeezing out as much creative juice as you can in a short span of time. =b heh

anyways, hopefully the baby will be back in business soon! more updates next week...

Fun Day with our CG painting Christmas Props!

2007-10-21T22:51:00.000+08:00

All of us hard at work. George is really good at borders...

Having fun! Haha

Mel posing with our beautifully painted lantern. Heh heh

it's been so long...

2007-10-19T16:53:00.000+08:00

Haven't been here for a while. But NO, I am not dead =)

It's been a busy busy busy busy month!

Reno is well underway, and almost halfway through! Praise God!

Magazine is coming along ok. Lots of starts and stops here and there, but I've learnt a lot in this process of decision making.

I have a nephew and a niece!!! =D

Mel's birthday is tomorrow. He's eternally 30. Haha

I'm reading a book called "Fragile Stone" by Michael Card, about the often-misunderstood apostle Peter. It's really grabbed my heart and mind from the start, and I'm about halfway through now...

I can't upload my newsletters anymore =( Boo hoooo... So those who want my October update, please email me let me know.

I'm very excited for what the next few months will look like - new home, first Christmas together, magazine completed, Cre-Comm launch, Christmas!!! and the Japan Choir (more on that in my next post?)

Yay!

Menu from the Feasting

2007-10-01T16:07:00.000+08:00

The Feast consisted of:

1. Beef fried rice
2. Fried bee hoon
3. Roast Chicken
4. Potato-egg-chicken salad
5. Shepherds pie
6. Fresh veg salad
7. Curry chicken
8. Quiche
9. Garlic cream pasta
10. Durian puffs
11. Chocolate eclairs
12. Mixed fruit and longan jelly (we didn't manage to start on this!)
13. Apple crumble and ice cream
14. Brownies
15. Tiramisu
16. Som Tum
17. Watermelon
18. Brinjal and pork

Whew! I can't believe there was that much food in my house!!! =D

fyi, there's still a huge piece of crumble, some potato salad, the longan jelly and the brinjal in my crowded fridge. Heh. =)

2007-09-30T00:22:00.000+08:00

phew...

the connect team came to my house for a time of thanksgiving and fun fellowship food tonight.

the whole day was a mad flurry of getting ready and buying ingredients and other party stuff. in the midst of it, there was my nephew's 1-month birthday lunch bash and mel getting called back to camp =( but God saw us through a very packed day, and i really enjoyed myself the whole night. =)

more pics and menu list to come... heh... but meanwhile, i simply must say: Thank you darling mel, for mopping the whole house for me!

Night out with the Boys

2007-09-24T22:52:00.000+08:00

"The Boys" being hubby and Jason Mandryk. (He's from Operation World, I met him at Lausanne conference in Malaysia last year, and he was invited to be a speaker in the Connect Conference over the weekend.) When we were on honeymoon in London, he brought us to the oldest pub in England! (cool...) so we were very eager to bring him out to look-see too.

Went to Geylang Serai for the first time. I know, I live in Singapore, but I've never gotten out of the car there, only driven by and ooh-ed and aah-ed at the lights in the past. it was very festive and noisy and full of smells (good and bad). not a bad experience lah.

frog porridge at lorong 9, geylang. another first for me! and for jason, of course. it was quite yummy =D

the boys

Below: the sights at Geylang Serai

We bought funky bathroom mats!

back to blogging

2007-09-24T21:49:00.000+08:00

i'm back!

left off blogging for a while cos i wanted to deal with some personal issues in the privacy of my mind, and also because work has been seriously hectic for the past 2 weeks.

thankfully, my issues have been somewhat 'resolved', or at least i find myself more aware of how i think, why i react to certain things, and how to deal with my heart. =) the 'resolution' was brought about by much (sometimes frantic) journaling during staff summit, honest conversations with selected friends, encouragement and hugs from the hubby, and lots of tears and prayers.

work wise, i was busy with coordinating the worship team for Connect Conference, a youth conference that was held over last weekend. i love love LOVE the team! really feel so blessed by each one of them, and encouraged by their heart to serve and sacrifice time and energy for the many nights of practice. through the conference, i also learnt a precious lesson in standing up for what you believe, and in trusting God.

* * *

today was a nice relaxing day. i had the day off (!!!) in lieu of the busy weekend. didn't wake up late, cos i wanted to make french toast for my darling hubby before he left for work. it was kind of weird seeing him go and knowing i had the house to myself ALL DAY.

after breakfast, i spent a happy hour wrapping presents for Christmas =) Haha... yup i have my first few Christmas presents already. i'm like that lah, I always buy them way in advance, if i see something that i think someone will like. muahaha... this year its different cos we are sharing for some people, so we have to choose the gifts together. i'm going with a gold-white-black theme. classy eh? =)

with a stack of beautifully wrapped presents stashed away, i began my frenzy of ironing. i had two laundry baskets to clear, on account of having no time to do any sort of housework last week. ironing is sweaty business, especially when it comes to men's shirts. bleah.

lunch time! i walked across to compass point and had a nice mos shrimp cutlet burger meal lunch all to myself. heh. surprisingly no noisy school groups around to disturb the peace.

after lunch i went grocery shopping! i love grocery shopping =D

went home and did a batch of laundry, then hung them up to dry. watched the afternoon shows - my parents house (a redecorating show), tyra banks (it was really touching. i always cry at her shows)... then it was time to begin dinner.

today, feeling adventurous, i had bought ingredients for chicken curry. =) so i set about to prepare all the ingredients. it took rather long to chop everything up... in fact, i took almost an hour to just chop things! so poor mel had to wait till almost 8pm for his dinner. =b Hee...

Also tried out the red cooking wine that i had bought on a whim, since it was on sale. i stir fried mushrooms in olive oil, red wine, garlic, salt and pepper.

Mel said both dishes are great (YAY!!!) although the curry could be a little hotter. i guess i will add more chilli next time.

constant growth

2007-09-03T00:44:00.000+08:00

last night i had the privilege of catching a friend in her debut lead role in a musical drama.

if there are seasons.

interesting point to note: It was my first time ever watching a Chinese drama!!! Haha! But got subtitles =b

i must say - dong was by FAR the star of the show! i was seriously impressed with her acting and singing - especially as her songs were so difficult and crazy-range-ish! Haha... i was seated with the rest of Ngam, and when it was the finale curtain time, we SCREAMEDDDDDD... muahaha... shocked quite a lot of nearby audiences. heh. felt a bit ashamed of myself after that - i mean, i'm not a jc students anymore. should be more sophisticated mah... haha, but nvm lah. =)

on a side note, the lead actor/singer, George Chan, really impressed me with his singing! (He's the judge of local Dance Floor competition?) His voice was really rich and emotive, and his duets with Dong and the other gal were really good!

anyhow, last night taught me a v important lesson. or rather 'showed' me. in the midst of my admiration of dong's performance, i was struck by the realisation of how far she has come, as a person, as a performer. i remember watching her as puck the fairy in A Midsummer's Night Dream, her TSD final project in VJ.

i've seen her in her early days singing in VJ choir, and then in chorale. I've watched her choose the less-trodden path of free-lancing, instead of signing up with an agency. i've shared her journey through the first Singapore Idol. i've been enchanted by her dancing (indy) and jazz notes (Mezza9).

it's funny - i work in a place where music is part of our blood. and i have many friends who are either interested in or working in the entertainment/media industry. but dong is someone i really respect for the discipline, diligence and perseverance she has invested to get where she is.

she reminds me of the PASSION we share for music. sadly, i am also aware how much that intensity has stagnated, while her's continues to grow.

she reminds me that achievements are not everything; but there must always be a DREAM.

she reminds me that it's not easy to cling on to passion in a world that just longs to dampen it. she demonstrates the perseverance and tenacity that is needed to GO THE DISTANCE.

she shows me that hard work does pay. that so much can happen in a year, if we crave growth, if we seek to improve.

watching that performance, and thinking about her journey to get there, i feel recharged somewhat, and a renewed sense of hope for the future. also an excitement about the kinds of ways i can begin to grow.

God also used this to affirm my decision to use the next few months to prepare myself for missions in Japan. No, i am not going there yet. but i was reminded that, in the same sense that we should prepare ourselves to be the 'right' person for our future other half, i need to prepare myself to be ready to answer His call, if it should come.

it's stewardship of time and passion. it will take hard work and less sleep at nights. but i know i will emerge with a stronger understanding of the people i love, and a firmer conviction about whether God is leading Mel and i to this land.

I'm thankful that Mel is coming for the missions classes with me! As for the language, i'm also planning to start japanese lessons in october... Yay!

so sweet... =)

2007-08-25T23:51:00.000+08:00

as i mentioned in my last post, been facing some issues recently (nothing to do with marriage...) and this week in particular was a difficult and emotionally and mentally draining one. mel, poor thing, has been on the receiving end of all my angst, hurt and low self esteem. i really really think he's got to be the sweetest and most understanding hubby around! =D haha

anyway tonight when we got back, after a long day, i saw a present on the bed! hee!!! it was EEYORE!!! hee.

when we were dating, i had told him before how eeyore is one of, if not my favourite, cartoon character. i love his droopy ears and melancholic disposition, and the little ribbon on his tail. =) but at that time, he didn't buy for me.

so it was SUCH a nice surprise to see him tonight. i was really touched by the surprise gift, and the obvious thought and effort that went behind it. =) no matter what life feels like for now, i really can give thanks that he is part of my life now. =)

yup yup. so THANK YOU dearie!!!

so apt

2007-08-25T09:26:00.001+08:00

been having quite a few 'wrestlings' with God this past week. still not over the hill yet, but i've been greatly blessed. every day He gives me something as an anchor for the day, just enough for each hour.

this morning it was no exception. checking my mail, i came across an ad by Dayspring for their 2008 calendars. This is what was written by Roy Lessin, the co-founder of Dayspring

"God wants you to move through this day with a quiet heart, an inward assurance that he is in control, a peaceful certainty that your life is in his hands, a deep trust in his plans and purposes, and a thankful disposition toward all that he allows. He wants you to put your faith in him, not a timetable. He wants you to wait for him and wait on him. In his perfect way he will put everything together... see to every detail... arrange every circumstance... and order every step to bring to pass what he has for you."

and in my quiet time this morning:

"therefore, my dear brothers (or sister!), stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labour in the Lord is not in vain." 1 Cor 15: 58

A Beautiful Day

2007-08-22T14:33:00.000+08:00

A few special moments from our Big Day! =)

My brother and Mel

The band of Brothers...

... and the Sisters =)

Me! (I like this shot)

The cutest ang pow box in the world! (Thanks Dawn & Yann!)

Beautiful cake made by my Aunty Lin and Mandy!

Lovely flowergirls and their proud Daddies.

Me and my Daddy... I really treasure this moment.

Post-wedding shoot at the beach!

Before our wedding dinner at Conrad

Ha ha ha!!!

There are lots more treasured pics with friends - I just don't have the time and wireless speed to upload them all =b Hee.
But special thanks to Karen, for the flowergirl baskets, Julienne for the guest book, Nette for the cookies, and Ohno and Haramichi (friends from Japan) for being there!!!

Of course, BIG THANKS to our wonderful coodinators Joy, Sara, Sharon and Eeleen =D

Honeymoon Pics!!!

2007-08-15T10:08:00.000+08:00

Our first day - a walk in Hyde Park

Day 2 - we left London on a one-day coach tour of Salisbury, Stonehenge and Bath. This is a shot of the famous stones at Stonehenge.

Day 3 - Audrey Hepburn's house!!! =)

Day 4 - Shopping day! We made it all the way from Marble Arch to Piccadilly Circus! Heh heh. This is me sipping a cranberry juice during lunch...

Day 5 - In the afternoon, we travelled out to Hillingdon to meet my friend, Jason. This is a picture of just one of the many beautiful flowers in the garden. So pretty!

Day 8 - We arrived in the Lake District after a 6 hour drive. Beautiful sunset views just took my breath away. Even the picture doesn't do it justice.

Day 9 - Went on a 2-mile farm trail! I loved the chicken coop best. So many chickens, and all so friendly. =)

After the farm visit, we took a cruise down Lake Windermere. This is an artsy shot Mel took of the brilliant sky!

Day 10 - We visited William Wordsworth's (a famous poet) childhood home and also the house where he lived after marriage. (His sister was called Dorothy!) In the latter home, he had a very beautiful small garden.

First time I saw apple trees! =)

We ended our last day with a delicious high tea. By the way, what you see is the average English portion for ONE. Haha... but we shared most meals...

Last shot at the B&B where we stayed.

back to reality

2007-08-14T16:40:00.000+08:00

yes i'm back!

been back for a while actually. it's just been a mix of joy, sadness and surreal-ity adjusting back to 'normal' life, albeit as a married woman.

happy one month anniversary to us!!! =D

it's been a really cool month. learnt so much about myself and him... good and bad... seen so many wonderful things on our honeymoon, heard so much rich history and stories that i wish i could create a video of my mind... haha... and lots more precious memories that i will always treasure from our first month together.

something's wrong with my webspace where i normally upload my newsletters... =( but at least photobucket still works. =)

i'll be uploading some choice pics of my honeymoon tomorrow.. and maybe some wedding pics by the end of the week!

thanks for being there for us, as we venture into our new life together...

the BEAUTIFUL lake district

2007-07-31T01:00:00.000+08:00

portobello market (on sat morning) turned out to be not as wonderful as i expected. but we did enjoy venturing to many of the vintage and antique shops there, ooh-ing and aah-ing over intricate silverware and ornate vases (and their equally shocking prices!!!), and left very very satisfied with our loot of a set of silver tea serving ware! =D I can't wait to invite some girls over and serve them TEA using my new silver tea pot, cream jug, sugar bowl and cake server! =)

They're all old silver, so I need to give them a good wash in hot water and polish the outside (as advised by the seller). The cake cutter is pretty new - dated in 1965 - but the other items are early 1900s i think.

The drive to Lake District was almost 6 hours. But the journey was far from boring, as I had my new book to read, we had chocolate sultanas to munch, and all around us were beautiful verdant green hills, brilliant blue skies with cotton wool clouds, rows of hay, pastures of peacefully grazing cows and sheep, and the occasional horse along the way.

Our guesthouse is a lovely B&B with 6 rooms. Our's is so pretty! The wallpaper are white and peach striped, there is a marble sink and fireplace in the room, the towel rack is heated (!!!)... and the English Breakfast is HUMONGOUS! Sunny side-up egg, hashbrowns, fried tomatoes, sausages, bacon, toast, cereal, fruit and mushrooms! And tea and coffee and orange juice! After the first day, I thought that would be enough to last me a full day. But by noon, I was starving again =b Mel says it's the cold air here - it's a whole lot colder than London, and the breezes at night are seriously freezing!

So, not much time left, cos we are using internet cafe. So here's what we did the past two days.

yesterday:

1. Visited The World of Beatrix Potter attraction in Windermere
2. Visited Low Sizergh farm near Kendal, and walked a 2 mile farm trail (exhausting but beautiful at parts and mucky at some...)
3. Took a cruise on Windermere lake
4. Explored the towns of Bowness, Windermere, Ambleside
5. Huge dinner at The Jumble Room Cafe in Grasmere - fantastic place with cool sketches and colours and textures all around

today:

1. Visited Wordsworth Cottage in Grasmere. I saw my first wash stand - what the English used before sinks and taps were invented.
2. Went to Sarah Nelson's Gingerbread Cottage and came out with an armful of her delicious home-made gingerbread!!! =D And Rum butter =)
3. Visited Wordsworth's childhood home in Cockermouth. (terrible name eh? =b) Beautiful gardens there, and I saw apple and pear trees for the first time! Quite enchanting, the little rooms and all the antique furniture still around.
4. Drive down to Keswick, and spent the rest of the evening exploring this town (Still here...) We had a wonderful afternoon tea just now - scones with jam and clotted cream, and finger sandwiches, and cream cakes, and fruit cake, and tea... so I don't think we'll be eating dinner =b

Tomorrow morning after breakfast we leave for Heathrow again. Another long drive, but we are leaving way early so that we can afford to stop along the way to take pictures and admire the view.

Day 6 and 7

2007-07-28T15:43:00.000+08:00

Day 6 - Thursday

We enjoyed a 2 1/2 hour Movie Walking Tour from St Paul's Cathedral in St Paul to St Paul's Church in Covent Garden. It was really cool cos the guide was a local small-time actor - only shoots for stuff like commercials and bit roles in tv shows - but he knew SO much! He brought us down all the little winding alleys to explore little nooks and crannies and to stand in exact locations where movies had been shot, such as My Fair Lady (Audrey Hepburn on the steps of St Paul's Church), Gringotts Bank (Australian Embassy), 4 weddings and a funeral (little cafe where she told him how many guys she'd slept with!), and several more! We also saw some interesting churches like St Brides Church (where actors are buried) and St Paul's (where journalists are buried), the home of Dr Johnson (the man who wrote the first dictionary) and a statue of his cat, Hodge!

After that long walk, we were starving!!! Had a delicious lunch of Cornish Pasties - my first time trying these. They're like giant curry puffs in a way, with all manner of stuffing. Mine was lamb and mint, Mel took the traditional one.

The afternoon was spent exploring Covent Garden - there are lots of little shops and stalls in the piazza, and there were several buskers about too, to contribute to the merriment!

The day ended with a pot of mussels, a small red lobster, and white chocolate mousse at nearby Belgo's, kindly recommended by Sharon. =) Honestly, the mussels were a BIT of a disappointment... but the mousse was lovely, and the lobster was very yummy too, so we were more than satisfied. =)

Day 7 - Camden Day

The train service to Camden Town was suspended that morning. So we decided to exercise and took the underground to the nearest possible operating stop - King's Cross. At King's Cross we went hunting for the 'trolley in the wall' which is part of the Harry Potter movies. We found it! haha!!!

Walked from King's Cross to Camden - it was pretty far and took us about 40-45min I should think. But Camden was really a nice change from Central London - the many markets lining the streets, lots of pokey little shops, and all kinds of food.

To be honest, after a while, the shops got a tad boring, cos they tend to all sell around the same type of clothes. And they weren't cheap either, so we did't buy any clothes from the market, even after 3+ hours of shopping! Haha... but still fun.

The, just as I was getting into grumpy mood at all the same types of shops, we found a short stretch of lovely furniture shops! Yay! And... we found one shop that was SO our type that we were stuck in it for over half and hour. It was full of pretty english things, like sauce racks and bread bins and watering cans and door knobs and hooks and cushions - all whites and pinks and lilacs. Hee! Came away very happy with a very pretty white antique looking clock for our living room in bedok, and also towel hooks (His and Hers) for the toilet. =)

Finally made it home and had our first Italian meal of pasta and risotto at a nearby cafe to end the night.

Day 8 - is TODAY!

This morning we are going to Portobello market to scavenge a bit more, but only a short while, cos we have to be back here by 12 to check out and travel to the airport. At the airport we'll pick up our car and then it's a long drive (4-6 hours) up to the Lake District, where we'll spend the next 3 days. Please pray for safe and scenic travel for us!

I'm beginning to feel sad about having to leave this beautiful city, but I do miss home too...

travelling OUT of London

2007-07-26T16:07:00.000+08:00

Yesterday we had planned to go strawberry picking, but what with the somewhat dismal weather and the hassle of finding the relevant farms without a car, we decided to forego that.

had a lovely picnic brunch in Kensington Park, near the Diana Memorial playground. lots of kiddies running around, and the sun came out every few minutes to warm our cold hands. our FEAST included ploughman sandwiches (mature cheddar, reduced fat, rye bread), original glazed krispy kremes doughnuts, a bunch of white seedless grapes, hot chocolate (me) and cappucino (mel), a bowl of prawn-mango-mixed-rice salad, and strawberry trifle pudding! =D

Haha... as expected, we couldn't finish, and the trifle is still untouched and sitting in our room by the window (natural fridge).

We lay on the grass and read our books that we got from the thrift book shop. I am so happy at the 5 books i found, all ranging between 1.3-1.7GBP each (4-6 SGD). Titles that I gave away when I hit my teens, along with my Enid Blyton collection. I got 'What Katy Did', 'What Katy did at school', 'What Katy did next', 'Heidi', and 'Pollyana'.

In the early afternoon, the sun was more or less gone forever, and it was just overcast and brrrrrr.... windy, so we let the park and went to walk the length of Tottenham Court Road and Charing Cross, popped into a few bookshops, but everything was pretty expensive and not like the little shop I had got those books from. Finally ended off at Paperchase - a THREE storey one! Woo hoO!!! We must have spent an hour in there, ooh-ing and aah-ing at all the pretty things. =)

Later on in the afternoon, we took the tube out of London to Hilingdon. I met this guy in Malaysia at a conference last year, called Jason. Yesterday morning I called him to say hi, and he invited us over to his area to spend the evening there.

The journey was loooonnggg... about 1.5 hour in total on the train. He picked us from Hillingdon, and it was so different from central london. It's called the 'Green belt', and the government is very strict about building any property there, cos they want to conserve the environment there.

A 15 min drive through winding tree-lined avenues and quaint little towns brought us to his home/office. It was like a fairy tale picture! and his 'house' is really sort of like a mansion, with turrets and a huge huge beautiful garden and a pond, and rabbits and foxes (which we didn't get to see). The building houses their chapel, their offices and function rooms, and individual pads for those staying there. Altogether cosy and 'english', and we were treated to a tour of the whole place! =)

After that he drove us out somemore to a really cool pub called The Royal Standard of England. Apparently, it's the oldest freehouse pub left in England!! =D How awesome that we got to go! =)

Had my first fish and chips of the trip. it was HUMUNGOUS. So a good thing mel and I shared. We had sticky toffee pudding and home-made vanilla and ameretto ice cream for dessert too. =D yumm. I was so full and satisfied I could roll home.

And I tried a very yummy beer called Strawberry Fruli from Switzeland. SOOO yummy and it was PINK! But the alcohol content must have been qutie high, cos I got very red after finishing it =b

After dinner, it was a long ride home and we were so tired that all we could do was collapse and sleep. But still, it was a miracle of a day, considering it had started off on a blank slate!

Day 1-5 in very brief summary =)

2007-07-25T16:38:00.000+08:00

There's a computer for general use in the little hotel we are staying in. Good, so I can blog!

It's really a very little hotel. Our room is so small that we have to manouvre to get to anywhere, amongst our bags, the hotel furniture, and the dustbin. Haha... I think it's like the same size as my bedroom at home, only my bedroom didn't have space for a toilet! =b

But it's very cosy and the service is great and it's really convenient to be just 5 minutes walk from Paddington station, which goes to basically anywhere else in London.

So... what have we been doing?

We arrived about 5plus am on Saturday morning at Heathrow Airport. The flight itself was a bit of a learning experience of accepting each others differences - when we got on board, i promptly swooped into dreamland (thanks to the very efficient air sick pill) while poor mel was left to amuse himself with the movies. but then when i woke up and was all ready to chat or sth, he was worn out and took his nap time. so... all a bit frustrating, but i was reminded that life won't always go the way you want it to huh.

so, arrived at heathrow, took the express train to paddington. even at only 6am, the sky was all bright and chirpy to welcome the day ahead!

we got a bit lost finding our way to the hotel, but overall not too bad.

so saturday. we spent the day explorin paddington. we walked all the way down to hyde park, walked through part of hyde park too, walked along edgeware road, which is a bit like their version of arab street. lots of lebanese and turkish eateries and all those people smoking the long pipes.

we saw Harry Potter in the window of many shops, but I'm so thankful we didn't buy straight away, cos towards the end of our day, we saw it going for 6.99GBP in woolsworth!! haha!! =D that's about $22 SGD btw. *smug grin*

so i got 2 copies - for my aunty and for dillon. if anyone else (of my friends) wants, leave me a comment to this post k.

we also enjoyed a late lunch in a quaint pub called The Bear and The Bishop, where I began reading the Potter book, and I finished it by dinner time! =D ha. no spoilers here, but it's really an awesome read. =D totally worth it.

Sunday we took a one-day coach tour out to bath, stonehenge and salisbury. I think for me, the best part of the day was by far the cathedral at salisbury. Our guide was really good, giving us so much historical nuggets all along the way. I really wish I could have written in all down, cos it was so so interesting!! But from what I can remember, Salisbury Cathedral was Roman Catholic until King Henry the 8th came along. He was Catholic, but he wanted a divorce from his wife, and the Pope wouldn't let him, so he was really furious and decided to get out of the Catholic faith and set up his own 'church' - the Church of England. So Salisbury was one of the many catherdrals that made the switch along with him.

The inside of th church was so beautiful, and the architecture so so intricate to look at! And we went into the Chapter House too, and saw the Magna Carter - one of only 3 remaining original copies in the world! It was in latin =b but there was a translated one around. Basically it's a document that spells out the rights that led to freedom of the slaves in the past.

Bath and Stonehenge were beautiful too. I shall wait till our pictures are developed and create a beautiful honeymoon scrapbook and show everyone who wants to see =) heh. The most beautiful thing about Bath were the golden stones from which most of the buildings are made. Not the same slate grey type you'd see in the rest of London - it's really a pretty warm gold, and under the afternoon sun, it was gorgeous!

Monday we took the Big Bus Tour - a 24 hour hop-on-hop-off ticket to go round the whole of London. We got off at stops where we wanted to walk around, such as Chinatown (a very short street only though), Trafalgar Square, London Bridge and London Tower, Big Ben and St Paul's. We had lunch in the Crypt of St Paul's Cathedral and bought the ticket to go in. It was so beautiful - in fact, I'd say it was just as beautiful as Salisbury, but in a different way. Salisbury was beautiful cos of the history and the ancient architecture. St Paul's is beautiful in a more modern sort of way.

We climbed about 300 steps up a very narrow one-way flight of stairs to reach first the Whispering Gallery, and then the Stone Gallery. There was a last and highest gallery called the Golden Gallery, but I was too much out of breath to make it =b Haha... but it was really good exercise, and the view from the Stone Gallery was already really good - a panaromic view of the whole of London!

Yesterday was designated SHOPPING DAY 1. Hee hee... we managed to walk the whole stretch of Oxford. Right from Marble Arch to the Picadilly line. Heh. Took us about 8 hours or so, with lots of stops in between! Haha. I feel so proud of myself cos I sticked to my budget and still got lots of cool stuff and presents too. And mel got lots of nice stuff for himself too, so it wasn't a one-sided trip k =)

My favourite buy would have to be... an empire waisted beige top with an emerald green and purply blue design on it. From Dorothy Perkins Sale at only 5GBP!!! That's about $15 SGD.

Total clothes count is: that top + green dress + white shorts + blue top + blue espadrilles with red flowers. =D

After all that shopping, we lugged all our loot to watch a musical - Mamma Mia - at Prince of Wales theatre. It was so funny and sweet and the singing was great and the dancing was great and I told Mel the 41GBP per person fee was all worth it! (When you consider that the average meal for 2 there would be 15 GBP) I'm so glad we went for it.

today is another free day. We had originally planned to go strawberry picking on the outskirts of London, but found out it's too much hassle without a car. So we are leaving our hotel soon to take a picnic to Kensington Park and spend the morning there reading books. Later on we might do a bit more shopping or just walk another side of London we haven't been to yet. =) I must say, we're doing quite a lot of walking to compensate for the yummy krispy kremes and ice creams... hee!

Yup. So that's my trip so far. I'm really enjoying myself, and Mel is too, and it just feels a bit sad that it's already almost halfway through.

leaving with my hubby!

2007-07-20T21:12:00.000+08:00

today was a very happy day! in the morning, we went down to ikea to get some great stuff for our bedok flat (IT'S THE SALE PEOPLE.) thanks to some vouchers we got for our wedding, the cash we had to pay was a lot less than what we got. =)

ran into kuanmei there, which was really a huge thanksgiving, as she leaves with her hubby for the US next week, and i won't be around then, and she won't be back till next year. kind of sad that she's going, but excited for all the new opportunities and experiences she will have over there for the next 2 years or so.

the afternoon passed by in a bit of a blur of housekeeping, packing and cleaning. and now... we're at the airport! Terminal One to be exact. about 2 hours to departure, but we came in early to look around.

it's the first trip we're taking as husband and wife. so quite exciting =D hee. i'm looking forward lots to time spent together in our cozy little hotel and strolling along the tree-lined cobbled streets of London, and sipping nice tea in an authentic english cafe!!! =D and, of course, making our rounds of oxford and portobello and camden for some good deals too! =)

our parents came to the airport to see us off. lots of advice from all parties, but we know it's only because they love us =) so....

OFF WE GO!!!

WE DID IT!!!

2007-07-18T22:35:00.000+08:00

I'm a wifey. =)

Hee. I like the sound of that.

Yup, mel and I got marrieeeeed on Saturday, 14 July, at my church. It was really everything I had dreamed of, or could hope for. Seeing all my friends gathered there to witness this occasion was so heart-warming. Saying goodbye to my family was tear-jerking and emo. Saying my vows to mel and looking him in the eye was pretty much overwhelming.

But through it all, God allowed me to really BE in the moment of the day. In fact, that's my hugest thanksgiving - that we could really cherish all that the day brought - whether things went accordin to plan or not. and that's because of all the AWESOME help we had, from family and friends!! =)

Thanks everyone... hugz

So now I'm a Mrs Chow. or as Yann and Dawn put it, Mr(S)melly. bleah. heh

It's been a strange, surreal, exciting, overwhelmin few days, settling into our Seng Kang flat *rental for a few months* and 'keeping house'. i do miss my home terribly - my room, my stuff toys, the familiar sounds of my family, the breeze from the sea... and i've burst into tears over the smallest thing over the past few days... but dear mel has been very patient and understanding and let me cry on him. so that helps a lot.

it's a lot better today. somehow it feels like I'm on the road to 'adjusting'. i dunno why it seems easier for mel, but i suspect it's a guy-thing. heh

so. today i did lots of nice wifey things. i woke up earlier to make pancakes. (sadly misshapen and slightly burnt, but my first solo attempt okay!) i washed the clothes in the washing machine and spent almost an hour sitting in front of it mesmerized b it's spinning. we hung the clothes up together. i met friends for lunch at raffles place. came back and we went to NTUC grocery shopping, and got stuff for the house as well - like tap filters and tea bags and coffee and dishwashing liquid. i cooked two dishes with my spanking new teflon saucepanny. packed the food and we came to my grandma's for dinner. we came home and bathed. now checking emails in companionable silence at starbucks opposite the road.

yup.

all in all, a happy day. =)

so. wedding pics will be out in august, and i'll try to upload a slideshow our wonderful photog did! =D meanwhile, we're off on our honeymoon on friday!!! i can't wait! =D

share more when i'm backkk

TURT Update

2007-06-19T17:14:00.000+08:00

Hi Friends,

After a week of ministry and SIX gigs (!!!), the TURT team enjoyed a well-deserved break over the weekend, with some needful R&R time, together with the local thai staff!

Please pray for their concerts for today and tomorrow.

Today: Classroom performance to an english class at Mahidol University at 2:30pm SG time

Tomorrow: Outdoor open-crowd gig at Krasesart University at 7pm SG time

Some encouragement from Simon, the staff mentor on the trip:
"It's interesting to see how God answered our prayers... for open doors to make know the mystery of Christ!
If u recall, when we made the decision to re-route to Bangkok, we only had 1 gig possibility. But our gung-ho tour leaders, Eeleen & Dan both felt that they would like to trust God for more. Then came the email 3 days before we left, on our packing day, that there are not 4 confirmed gigs!! (And this was exactly the number Eeleen & Dan said, when I asked them the day before how gigs they'd like to trust God for!)

I share this with you guys.. to recall God's faithfulness, and trust that your hearts are encouraged too!"

Some prayer requests from the team:
1. Pray for wisdom for Dan & Eeleen as they lead us in a different setting.

2. Traveling in BKK can be quite stressful. Yesterday, about 9 of us squeezed in the back of a pick-up truck (with some of our equipment!), in BKK traffic for a good 1hour 15min. Our butts were aching real bad after that. =( We are requesting mini-van for next week.. hopefully it works out.

3. Also the heat has been the most draining thing for everyone. So pray for greater tolerance.. and cooler weather I guess. =)

The Couple with the White Bench

2007-06-12T09:53:00.001+08:00

Hee...

Those who have read the Shoppaholic series will know how this title came about (In the book, Becky wants to be 'the Girl in the Pink Vespa Helmet')

Yesterday, we bought our first piece of furniture for our new home! It's also the first piece of furniture I have ever bought!

It's a beautiful foldable cream bench.

Maybe I will post a pic sometime.

Anyway, it was really nothing short of a miracle, so I must share!

On Sunday night, we went down to Ikea to scour every nook and cranny and write down all the stuff that potentially would be great in our new home. We are planning to wait until the August sale and get in one fell swoop! =D

That's when we saw the lovely benchy.

However, as it was under As-Is, you have to take it immediately (no storage provided, and delivery is $40). So we thought, nvm lah, since it won't fit in the car, and we don't know how it will fit into our home, let's forget about it...

But that night, and the next morning, I kept thinking about it! And visualizing how it could fit into our living room. And, really, the more I thought about it, the more right it felt. As in, I could really see it fitting in! =D Somemore because it's display piece, so it was being sold at 30% off!

So I emailed Mel, and he said he also had been thinking about it, and liked it too. Haha! so...

That evening after work, Mel came over and had very quick van orientation to ForeRunner van. Then we drove down to Tampines Ikea (where we saw the bench).

BUT...

As we walked excitedly towards the As-Is area... there was NO BENCH!

ARGHHHHHH

We walked all round the area, but no, no bench =(

We asked the sales guy and he told us it had been SOLD?!?!

Oh no...

We were both so disappointed, esp after all the trouble it had taken to get oriented to the van and to drive across the island.

But not his fault lah.

THEN...

Mel happened to take a peek into the storeroom next to the As-Is area. AND GUESS WHAT??? The Bench was there!!!

We asked the sales guy about it. He finally told us it had been reserved by a Manager in Ikea.

Oh.

We tried to get him to give it to us anyway, telling him how much we liked it and all... and he was VERY NICE about it, but said no, cannot.

Sigh

So we looked for the bench section, thinking if we really liked it that much, maybe we should just get a new one. BUT IT WAS SOLD OUT!

Not just that. It was summer collection, so no more stock coming in!

Bother.

So we went to Customer Service Counter to ask them to call Alexandra branch to see if there got.

There also out of stock.

I tell you... my face fell like a limp rag.

=(

As we were going to walk out of the store, we decided... Aiya, just give it another try lah.

So we went back to the poor sale guy and asked him again. He was kind of laughing at us I think, cos he had seen us circling the area for almost an hour. Finally he said... ok he will check with the Manager. So... he rang up this Manager, and told him how much we liked the bench, and that we really would like to have it.

And the Manager said YES!!!

Hee...

i was kind of jumping for joy! Melvyn was a lot more calm and composed about it.

haha...

So anyway, that's how we got our White Bench. I'm sure that I will never forget this memorable experience in getting our first piece of furniture. And I will definitely share this story with my kids in future.

And just so you know, the very nice guy that helped us is called Hatif. If you're in Ikea, do watch out for him, and flash him a BIG smile on our behalf! =)

The Ultimate ROAD Trip 2007 begins!

2007-06-10T08:14:00.000+08:00

Yes, the ROAD TRIP bit finally begins!

Later today, the team of 10 students and 5 staff will be leaving for a 2-week concert road trip. Not all the staff going. I am one of those 'left behind'. heh) We have made a decision that we will not hold any concerts in Hatyai, due to the recent spate of bomb scares. However, we still feel strongly that God has called us to be His light in the land of Thailand during this time. So they will be spending the first few days in Nakhon Sri Thamarrat, before taking a coach up to Bangkok, where they will spend the remainder of the trip.

It wasn't an easy decision to make, but even right after we made that decision, God has confirmed the work of our hands in so so many ways. One of which being that we went into the decision to go Bangkok, with only ONE potential gig up for the team. But over the past few days, God has confirmed that for us, and added in 2 gigs. So there are now a total of 3 confirmed gigs in Bkk! Wow. Also, a few of the students' parents had been very anxious the week before, and even considered pulling their children out of the trip, but as God encouraged their hearts, they have agreed to trust God with us, and allow their darlings to go! =D

As we have spent the past 4 weeks in intensive band preparation, do pray that we would also be ready spiritually, emotionally and mentally, to engage in God's work. Due to the late changes in schedules and flight plans, there are many details to be worked through, and this can be very draining, especially for the staff.

Here are some personal prayer requests from the team.

Simon Seow - staff mentor
1. The joy of the Lord as I serve Him
2. Pray for Lillian & kids, for them to lean on the Lord in my absence
3. Pray for opportunities to minister God's grace & love to the Thais & to the team.

Daniel Ho - staff, team leader and program ic
1. Strength to get through this season
2. Able to lead the team well
3. Wisdom in decision making

Eeleen Lin - staff, assistant team leader and advancer/finance
1. To keep my eyes on the Lord in all circumstances
2. Physical health and strengthm esp for stomach (no diarrhoea!)
3. To lead the team from a place of intimacy with Jesus.

Manson Koh - staff, band director
1. Health
2. Spiritual protection
3. Safety
4. God's love being demonstrated in the team.

Evon Ee - staff, assistant finance
1. Keep my heart close to God even amidst the hectic travelling.
2. Wisdom to handle huge amount of money on the road as a few of us are the main finance peeps for transport and day to day things for the whole team. I am one of them.
3. God will watch over my family even more so while I am away.

Liow Ee Jun - student, bassist
1. Pray for my parents to have peace in me going to Thailand and to know that my life is in God's hands so they need not worry
2. Pray for me to love the Thai people and to do my best to bring forth the Gospel there
3. Pray for me to strong both physically and spiritually to endure a tiring schedule and to have joy in what i'm doing everyday.

Jeremy Wee - student, drummer
1. Smooth deferment from reservist
2. Guard my heart n mind against spiritual attacks
3. Safety

Paul Wong - student, acoustic guitar
1) Good health. I always fall sick when I enter into a new environment.
2) Peace for my family and friends and assurance that God will keep me safe.
3) To grasp a deeper revelation of the Father's heart through TURT

Joshua Tay - student, electric guitar
1. Pray for my health during this period that i will not fall sick
2. To be spirit-filled at all times
3. Pray for family members back home who may be anxious.

Mark Szto - student, electric guitar
Please pray: I think I'm slightly panickky about raising money for the China trip (another trip he is going on after TURT!) , particularly cos I think I need about 1k more than I thought I need.

Crystal Soh - student, keyboards
1. to be able to handle the hygiene standards there
2. for family not to worry while i'm there
3. for God to teach me and use me the way He wants to(:

Michelle Lim - student, sound tech
1. Strength to sustain throughout the road trip
2. God's peace to be with my family and friends
3. To come back feeling that God has changed my life!

Michelle Cheam - student, vocalist
1. For my family that God's protection would be on them.
2. For my testimony that God would work through me to touch the people there.

Evangeline Lee - student, vocalist
1. Peace for family members and friends
2. Safety
3. Tons and tons of seeds sown into His kingdom
4. For us to know Christ more as we make Him known.

Matthew Low - student, vocalist
1)remember all my lyrics and testimony
2)throat no problem ha
3)Focus on GOD

For those who want to see the team off at the airport or receive them when they return, here are their flight details:

Departure from SIN to Hatyai on 10 June 2007
Flight no TR138 (Budget terminal)
Departs SIN at 14:00 Singapore time
Please note that Hatyai is one hour behind Singapore.

Arrival from BKK to SIN on 22 June 2007
Flight no TR109 (Budget terminal)
Arrives SIN at 23:30 Singapore time

life change doesn't come easy

2007-06-04T20:12:00.000+08:00

the past few weeks have been chockful of activities, deadlines, stresses, conflicts, decisions... in some ways, it's been a bit of a blur, but i know God has been really chiselling into my heart through this time.

i say 'chisel' cos that's an analogy i got from a bill lawrence talk i heard last year. he was sharing that, a lot of the time, the journey from the head to the heart is a painful one. because our hearts are often hardened to the Truth, or to what God wants to say to us. so God, as the Master Scuptor, has to use His chisel to 'break' our hearts, so that the truth can 'drop in'.

i feel like i'm being 'chiselled'.

mentally i'm being stretched in more ways than i've been used to. tasks and responsibilities and people's feelings and stewardship of resources to juggle. i'm learning that the peace of God really can guard my heart and mind, and take away the load of feeling so anxious about the next bump in the road.

socially, it's not my 'thing' to be surrounded by people every day. i miss times of solitude and just 'doing my own thing' and not having to think for others. so sunday was a welcome day of rest for me. we had work that night, so i spent the morning at home, woke up late, climbed stairs (my new form of exercise on hot hot days), tied about 40 ribbons on my helpers' gifts =) and then finally changed and went off for the TURT showcase that evening.

physically, i'm tired. lack of sleep, and what sleep i do have, i take very long to get to. ie, i take very long to sleep cos of all the thoughts swimming around in my head. not just related to TURT but to wedding plans too, what-ifs etc... but through the nights of fretting, and sometimes tears, i've had no choice but to turn to God, and to share all that i'm feeling with melvyn too.

emotionally, i'm exhausted. but also freed. a bit hard to explain... the pace and intensity of my emotions has left me feeling drained, but also amazed that i CAN feel that much, and that God can handle each one as it comes and i lump it on Him. phil 4:6-7 has more meaning for me these past few weeks, and i feel so thankful that i have Someone who truly understands me, at times when i feel so misunderstood, unappreciated, unworthy, unlovely.

He dances over me, nevertherless =)

so, spiritually, i feel like i have finally experienced what it's like to 'cling' to God, to rest in the shadow of His wings. i have a taste of what that's like, and it's scary, cos it's a scary world out there. but it's safe, too, to watch that world from His protective embrace, and to know that all that really can't touch me.

I HAVE A HOUSE!!!

2007-05-29T13:56:00.000+08:00

We have a house!!! =D Yay! More details soon, when we go back to take pix. Meanwhile, just wanted to share my joy with all my readers, friends, supporters etc. =)

This comes after over 8 months (!??!) of prayer, searching, house visiting, excitement and disappointment. But, oh, how faithful God has been. Even when I doubted that He would ever provide us with a home, He has not stopped caring about us, and answered my prayer to get a house before our wedding. =)

Not just any house. A house that Mel and I both love... it's very clean and airy, and feels just so open concept and breezy and refreshing! And when I first walked in the door, it felt like "home". Awww.....

=D

Anyhow, want to give thanks for God opening this door (literally!) for us. Ths current owner is a Christian lady, and she has been really sweet and hospitable to us.

There's much more to give thanks for, but for now this will do. =)

Now I can really start thinking about paint colours and furniture and lights and all that stuff. Cool! =)

building deep

2007-05-14T18:49:00.000+08:00

today the ultimate road trip (TURT), ForeRunner's staple missions project, began with a bang! it's been a great day so far, getting to know the students and finding out what they're like.

but what touched.impacted me the most was the sharing by my colleague and friend Alvin. he shared about things that he has experienced. painful times, times of growth and sorrow and stretching and testing of faith. i was hugely encouraged by his willingness to be so vulnerable and open with the team, and very touched by how God has been so real in his mum's life.

it also got me thinking about my own heart life. recently i;ve seen how task-oriented i can become, and how that really drives me away from God and from people at times. i'm reminded that it's so important to always have God as my source of joy, my source of security, my source of significance, my source of life.

we sang the song "Hungry". i wept because i feel so much like the writer felt.

* * *

hungry, i come to You, for i know You satisfy
i am weary but i know Your touch restores my life
so I wait for You, so I wait for You

I'm falling on my knees
offering all of me
Jesus You're all this heart is living for...

come fill me, and renew my love for You.

help me build deep. roots that will last.

May Update

2007-05-08T22:59:00.000+08:00

Japanese women don't get old or fat

2007-05-02T10:14:00.000+08:00

by Naomi Moriyama & William Doyle

thank you mel =)

captured moments

2007-05-02T10:01:00.000+08:00

We led worship at SP last week, and it was an awesome experience! Especially cos, for the first time ever, we had a team of dancers with us! It was really a liberating time of just praising God. Check out these pics:

eeleen leading worship

really awesome back-up vocals!

me at keys!

beautiful dancers...

guy on the left shared his testimony of how he very recently received Christ. it was amazing to hear, and very encouraging.

our full team - the biggest ForeRunner team ever!!! =)

Japanese tea party?

2007-05-02T09:32:00.000+08:00

Yesterday mel bought me the Japanese cook book that I've been eyeing. Yay! (For those who are interested, Borders has it at $20 cos it's soft-cover. The MPH one i hard cover and a whopping $33!!!)

I spent the evening reading the first two chapters. Hee... I LOVE IT! Lots of cool but simple recipes for the basic Japanese meals, like Japanese omelette, carrot-tofu, teriyaki chicken etc... and all the recipes are totally from scratch - so not like you use teriyaki sauce from the supermarket - everything from the raw ground-level ingredients.

i'm looking forward to spending an afternoon at the nearest japanese supermarket (actually, cold storage might do just as well, according to my mum) getting the basic starter stuff, like bonito (seaweed) flakes, mirin, sake, dashi and rapeseed (i've never heard of this!) oil.

maybe when we move into our rental home, i can have a japanese party for some friends and try out the recipes in the book, and be hostess in my pretty purply yukata (summer kimono). =D ooh, that would be fun...

More on yukata:

A yukata is a cooling garment to wear. Like other forms of clothing based on traditional Japanese garments, it is made with straight seams and wide sleeves. Unlike formal kimono, yukata are typically made of cotton rather than silk or synthetic fabric, and they are unlined.

Traditionally yukata were mostly made of indigo-dyed cotton but today a wide variety of colors and designs is available. Like the more formal kimono, the general rule is the younger the person, the brighter the color and bolder the pattern. A child might wear a multicolored print and a young woman, a floral print, while an older woman would confine herself to a traditional dark blue with geometric patterns. Since the late 1990s, yukata have experienced a bit of a revival, and many young women now wear them in summer in personally distinctive ways not limited by tradition.This garment is very traditional.

This is a picture of a young woman in yukata in Kyoto, Japan. My kimono looks a little bit like her's, but darker and purpler.

Devotion 2

2007-05-02T09:29:00.000+08:00

Currently grappling with some work-related decisions on projects to take up or not take up etc. I really wanted God to convict me that it is "His" idea, not mine. In the midst of this, this devo really reminded me that it's really NOT about what I can offer to God, or what creative plans I can concoct - it's only by His Spirit that the task at hand can be achieved. Not quite the answer I am looking for, but part of it.

* * *

Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit," says the Lord Almighty. - Zechariah 4:6

One of the best-known verses in the Bible regarding the Holy Spirit is recorded in Zechariah 4:6. The word might comes from a Hebrew word meaning "a powerful force, an army, a band of trained, valiant soldiers." It also encompasses other resources, such as riches. The word translated power means "to be able to reach our goals by human ability--our own wisdom or clever manipulation of others." Zechariah is saying that we do not do the work of God by either great human strength or great human ability; we do it by the enabling of the Holy Spirit.

Exodus 31:1 says: "Then the Lord said to Moses, 'See, I have chosen Bezalel...and I have filled Him with the Spirit of God, with skill, ability and knowledge in all kinds of crafts--to make artistic designs for work in gold, silver and bronze, to cut and set stones, to work in wood, and to engage in all kinds of craftsmanship... Also I have given skill to all the craftsmen to make everything I have commanded you.'"

My daughter, Becky, observed that God had to empower them by the Holy Spirit for the artistic work. For the past four hundred years they had done nothing but sit in the slime pits of Egypt and make mud pies. But when God called them to engage in works of artistic craftsmanship, He gave them the power of the Holy Spirit to do it.

When we are born again by faith in Jesus Christ, from that moment on we are to rely on the Holy Spirit's power and live under His control.

Prayer:

Lord, take control of me and use my life to bring glory to You. Amen.

To Ponder:

Is there any area of your life where you're not relying on the Holy Spirit's power?

- Navigators online devo 1 May 2007

Devotion 1

2007-05-02T09:22:00.000+08:00

This spoke to me about my own heart of worship. Recently, we've been leading quite a few sets of worship, and each time, it's a struggle between expectancy of what God will/can do, and the willingness to surrender to however it goes. This devo was pretty humbling and a good reminder.

* * *

For a while, we are fully aware of God’s concern for us. But then, when God begins to use us in His work, we begin to take on a pitiful look and talk only of our trials and difficulties. And all the while God is trying to make us do our work as hidden people who are not in the spotlight. None of us would be hidden spiritually if we could help it. Can we do our work when it seems that God has sealed up heaven? Some of us always want to be brightly illuminated saints with golden halos and with the continual glow of inspiration, and to have other saints of God dealing with us all the time. A self-assured saint is of no value to God. He is abnormal, unfit for daily life, and completely unlike God. We are here, not as immature angels, but as men and women, to do the work of this world. And we are to do it with an infinitely greater power to withstand the struggle because we have been born from above.

If we continually try to bring back those exceptional moments of inspiration, it is a sign that it is not God we want. We are becoming obsessed with the moments when God did come and speak with us, and we are insisting that He do it again. But what God wants us to do is to "walk by faith." How many of us have set ourselves aside as if to say, "I cannot do anything else until God appears to me"? He will never do it. We will have to get up on our own, without any inspiration and without any sudden touch from God. Then comes our surprise and we find ourselves exclaiming, "Why, He was there all the time, and I never knew it!" Never live for those exceptional moments— they are surprises. God will give us His touches of inspiration only when He sees that we are not in danger of being led away by them. We must never consider our moments of inspiration as the standard way of life— our work is our standard.

- Daily bread online devotion for 1 May 2007

it's been a crazy week!

2007-04-23T10:00:00.000+08:00

haven't had time to blog much, cos it's been so busy busy busy...

last week and this week are so packed, my i-cal is a sea of green (work) and purple (wedding).

it's pretty draining, but there's also a rush of adrenalin that comes with it, and that excites me! =)

quite a bit had happened the past few weeks/days, so i'll update on some here...

::new home::

thank God for providing us with a home! well, at least for the first 6 months. we've found a delightful rental flat at seng kang, right next to the mrt. it was really a God-send the way we found out about it (through a mutual friend) and the timing is so perfect, because the current tenants move out in june, and we get married in july. =D cool.

and to top it off, we really love the flat! i love that it's white and uncluttered and simple and classy.

so thank you, all, who have been rooting or praying for us.

::letters to seven churches::

i attended a workshop by Pastor Benny Ho, and it was really good. even though i was afraid it would wear me out (two weekday nights and saturday morning), the content more than kept my attention glued, and i really learnt a lot of context that helped me make much more sense of the letters in revelations. also have many personal application issues to mull over during the next personal retreat...

::gown fitting::

i went to see my gown! i love it love it!!! the bridal gown is pretty much there - the plain structure of it anyway. now just waiting for them to sew on more lace and beadings. i can't wait for my second fitting on 5 may. =)

::some firsts::

my FIRST piece of luggage - my very own! it's a present from my mum, for my honeymoon, and to keep after that. mel and i went to a samsonite road show, and i got this awesome hard-case bluish grey 360deg rollers luggage! it's half my height =b the original price was a whopping $690, BUT it was last season or sth i think, so they cut it to $329. and then, because mine was the second last piece, and it was used for display, the saleman gave me another 10% off. so it was $296! =D hee...

i love it. now i will find a hot pink ribbon to tie round the handle to make it my own. heh.

another FIRST is my first hp which can play mp3s! i've been wanting to trade in my phone for quite a while, but waiting for good offers to come. so anyway mel had planned to do something sweet for me, so he traded in his old phone that he's stopped using ever since his company got him a phone. he also had credit card points to redeem. so we chose me a phone (Sony Ericsson w710i) from m1, and only had to pay $29 cash! =) yay... i spent most of the night figuring out how to use it, cos i've been a faithful nokia fan until now. heh.

::encouragements from God::

i've been so encouraged to receive some support from friends for my wedding and for my monthly salary. it's really encouraged me hugely, and still does, every time i think about it. thank you.

i think God has really been so faithful, not answering my prayers all at once, but a little at a time, slowly showing me his provision in baby steps, just a bit to 'get me through' to the next month, and yet not making me feel abandoned etc as i see Him as work slowly but surely. it reminds me of what someone once said:

"God never said that His grace was inexhaustible. He said that His grace would be SUFFICIENT for me." Just enough for the moment; nothing more, nothing less.

::shameless request::

hee hee... i saw this book recently, and i thought, well... it can't hurt to put it online. it's just something that i'd really like, so if - IF only - you are wondering what i might like for my bday. haha... it's called "Japanese women don't get old or fat" by Naomi Moriyama and Wayne Doyle, retails at MPH. hee... it's a collection of the writer's growing up experience with Japanese culture, mixed in with some authentic-sounding japanese recipes.

hee...

AS OF 2 MAY I AM NOT PROUD OWNER OF THIS BOOK! THANKS MEL... IT's FANTASTIC! EVEN IF YOU DON'T INTEND TO COOK...

k that's all for now!

men. some of them are just dumb.

2007-04-10T15:53:00.000+08:00

so stupid.

there's this horrible guy two tables from me (spinelli's @ kaki bukit). every single sentence has says has at least one F-word in it. talking about the girls in the office, and the other guy's girls. there are three of them there, and this one guy is like the lead-actor, basically he hasn't stopped talking for at LEAST 10 minutes. he's just so full of himself, and so condescending, and so MEAN.

i feel disgusted.

so grossed out i feel like walking over and smacking them on the head. but then i might get kicked out, and i want to use the wireless connection here. bother.

super new book!

2007-04-09T17:04:00.000+08:00

i am a HUGE fan of becky brandon nee bloomwood. =D

for those not in the know, that's the name of the lead character in the Shoppaholic series (by Sophie Kinsella). I've been a faithful follower of the series since it first came out in about 2000. So far there's:

1. Secret Diary of a Shoppaholic
2. Shoppaholic takes Manhattan
3. Shoppaholic Ties the Knot
4. Shoppaholic & Sister

and the newest...

5. Shoppaholic & Baby

It's just so cool to have followed the characted through all the changes and events in her life, from singlehood to dating to marriage to now having a baby. I really feel with Becky as she goes through all this stuff, and find myself identifying so much with the way the author 'voices' what's happening in Becky's head in every situation.

She's a lot like me. Haha...

And no, it's not about being obesessed with money or material wealth. More than that, for all her frivolous ways and (sometimes) crazy shopping antics, Becky has a whole lot of HEART. passion for life. a fierce loyalty for her friends and, later, husband. and the courage to be who she is - most of the time.

in many ways i feel encouraged by this book. it reflects society's way of thinking of shopping, and reminds me that all too often we read people only skin-deep, but never see beneath the surface to what's underneath, what they really are like. sometimes, like Becky, I have felt misunderstood. misjudged. and while that's not an excuse to spend unthinkingly, it is an encouragement to me that what matters most is who i am inside, and being self-aware of who i am inside.

so... if anyone wants to borrow the book can ask lah.

BY THE WAY SOMEONE BORROWED THE MANHATTAN ONE AND THE WEDDING ONE FROM ME LAST YEAR AND I NEVER GOT IT BACK AND I FORGOT WHO I LENT IT TO. WHOEVER HAS IT PLEASE RETURN SOON HOR =)

Heh. thanks

the muffin (wo)man can!

2007-03-24T08:37:00.000+08:00

yesterday i baked MUFFINS! haha, banana muffins with chocolate chips and cinnamon to be exact. mnmmm... yum yum =)

went over to a. annabel's house to bake (my marriage prep counsellor, but now also my friend lah) and chat about church and stuff. she was so sweet - printed me my very own copy of the recipe in full colour! i've started my own 'baking file'. bought a simple red a4 folder from carrefour, and will try to keep it regularly updated with new recipes... my own little treasure trove of treats! =)

here's a picture of the fruits of our labout =)

paradigm shifts

2007-03-17T23:15:00.000+08:00

recently been doing a lot of soul searching on the topic of financial planning.

like...

how do you balance saving for the future and trusting God to provide?

how do you work towards reaping maximum profit and yet not become obsessed with making money?

how can one give sacrificially and yet have more than enough funds for the family?

*wrestle wrestle wrestle*

well, i haven't quite reconciled everything in my mind yet. but what i'm beginning to notice and understand is that these things don't have to happen mutually exclusive of the other. that wanting to make money is not an evil thing, in and of itself. and that nothing is really black and white - there's a whole lot of grey that needs a load of wisdom to make sense of.

maybe real stewardship of my money is not just hiding some of it away in a bank and 'saving for a rainy day'. it's making my money grow. like the parable of the ten talents - and like our God-given talents - we aren't supposed to just keep it for ourselves, but to make it 'work' for us in creating more wealth/talent/skill through wise investment or training. not for personal gain per se, but to be used for God's glory. what glory does it offer God if i can save $5K, when i could have made $5K more and given to the needy?

there's faith. and there's stewardship. and there's concern for loved ones. and there's concerned for the needy.

quite a lot of stuff to wrap my head around....

spent an extended quiet time to think through stuff a couple of days ago...

it's pretty amazing. my passage for the day was only proverbs 3:5-6. so i thought, aiya familiar passage lah. but i had time to spare. so i thought, why not read the whole chapter 3.

it's pretty long, so i will just highlight some main verses and how it spoke to my heart:

v1-2
"...keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you prosperity."

- - - > Obedience to God is key in being able to experience His blessings.

v5-7
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil"

- - - > While it's good to use my 'blain' and to plan and to rationalise, some things do require faith and trust that is not rational from my point of view. Goes back to obedience to what God is saying, and fearing him enough to act upon it.

v9
"Honour the Lord with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops."

- - - > This has always been my stand. That I believe in giving to God, whether through the church or to missions, consistently. Not as an afterthought or as a duty, but out of wanting to give Him glory for what He has done, what He has provided. Not the remnants of what I have, but a substantial amount. Not all that I have - because He really is not asking that of me for now - but enough to make it at least a small sacrifice - a small expression of my love and gratitude to Him.

v13-14
"Blessed in the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding, for she is more profitable than silver, and yields better returns than gold."

- - - > While money is not evil, and is definitely useful, I don't to allow it to become too much of a priority in my life. And along with gaining wealth, there is a need for greater wisdom, if not all the wealth in the world is wasted on me.

v21-22
"... preserve sound judgment and discernment... you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble..."

- - - > It's good - in fact it's instructed - that we should use our God-given sense of judgment and discernment. There's nothing wrong in exercising our rationale when making decisions - don't always need to have a burning bush appear.

v25-26
"Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared.""

- - - > Once I make a decision, based on my sound judgment and seeking God and using whatever wisdom He has given me, I need to continually make the choice to trust Him to work things out for my good. EVEN if something terrible happens to me, and I lose money or health etc, I can rest that He is working things out for good, ultimately. And He has a purpose for allowing each event to take place.

v27-28
"Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act... when you now have it with you. "

- - - > With increased wealth or skills or knowledge comes the increased responsibility to give, to help those in need, to give sacrificially and out of love.

v29
"Do not plot harm against your neighbour...."

- - - > I should be full of intergrity in all my relationships, not plotting harm against anyone, or backstabbing or even gossiping (oh no, I do have a tendency to do that sometimes =( must work on curbing it) and along with this, I should envy or covet what my neighbour has. If I want what he/she has, I must make choices that allow me to gain it in a right manner. I must take responsibility for getting there, not just sit there and be envious or complain. But at the same time, I must submit my desires to God and ask him what He thinks about it.

Yup that's it. rather a wordy post, I know, but i wanted to just put down some of my recent thoughts down. I wouldn't say I can make sense of everything yet, but i know it's a good place to be in. Feel like just struggling this issue has helped me to crystallise what I truly believe, what I lack conviction in, and where God wants me to be/wants me to do.

I realise that, in the end, what I still love most are people.

It's kind of a nice realisation to have =)

celebrating two years =)

2007-02-27T08:55:00.000+08:00

yesterday was our 2nd year anniversary of being a couple. =) the evening was really a special one - almost magical even - because mel made it so, because God made it so.

this morning, woke up all cheery and happy and feeling loved and special. it's a nice feeling to have, to start the day with. =)

some special elements of the evening:

mel picked me up about 630pm yesterday evening, looking quite wonderful in his brown office shirt and pants. i usually am not a huge fan of brown, but i have to admit, he looks great in brown =) we both think he's an autumn. heh.

when i opened the car door, there was a beautiful bouquet of three deep red roses on my seat! =) surprise no. 1

we left for pete's place, where mel had made a reservation for two. that really touched me, because i know such planning takes effort on his part, and he knew that it would mean a lot to me.

pete's place was wonderful. not crowded cos it was a weekday night, and we had our little two seater next to a charming brick wall (which we took photos with!) mel told me not to eat too much, cos he had bought us a cake! surprise no. 2

so dinner was... fried calamari as a starter. then creamy thick buttery mushroom soup with breads. i loved the olive bread best! the main course was a pam pam pizza, which is something pretty cool - one half of the pizza had minced meat and chillis on it, the other half was folded up like a curry puff and stuffed with cheeeeeeeseeeeee =D mmm. erm, quite fatterning =b

after a very full dinner, we made a beeline for the car, to avoid me getting distracted by shops and sales signs and such stuff that's quite common along orchard road. heh.

drove to ECP and enjoyed a nice stroll by the beach. then we took out the CAKE. it was an awfully chocolate cake. SUPER chocolate covered man. it was like as though the whole cake was dipped in chocolate fondue! haha... anyway even though it as a very cute and small cake, no way could we finish it. so we had two small slices and saved the rest.

before cutting the cake, we attempted to light the two candles that he had asked for. haha... but the wind was too strong, so the closest shot we could get was of mel attempting to light the cake! hee

made our way back to the car and set off for my place. stopped below my block to say bye bye, and then he told me... to look in the glove compartment. haha... so unexpected and sweet.

there was a blue box in there. inside was a this pair of green and gold earrings that i had admired the other day when out with him. i thought it might match my evening gown for the wedding. and he had remembered that i liked it and gone back and bought it!

wow. i was really touched man. =)

we ended the night with a prayer for us and for the future together. and some hugs too =)

what a magical evening. thank you mel, for all the effort and heart you put into planning the night, and for making me feel so loved and special. i really love you too!

(In case anyone is wondering, i gave mel a precious moments figurine with the message "our love can never be broken". it's a message and a picture that i think is special to us, so shall not try explaining it. hee)

grappling with who i really am

2007-02-16T15:06:00.000+08:00

recently i've made a lot of self discoveries.

i realise that i love structure. i love plans. i love looking at systems and schedules and deadlines and lists of to-dos (hee, some people prob going like huh?!)

but i don't like it when people tell me what to do. i don't like it when they tell me why my plan is lacking, or what loopholes there are. i feel ashamed when i don't meet my own lofty expectations.

i realise that i need routine. i need to know that every morning, i will brush my teeth and change before stepping into the kitchen to get my morning coffee. i need to always put my make-up on before i comb my hair. and when i cut my nails, i need to start with the thumbs and big toes always. i guess in that sense, i'm a pretty methodical person.

another area i crave routine is in work. i need to know what my 'main role' was. i need to feel centered and secure, to know my place in the company.

but i need change too. i can't stand doing the same thing every day. i can't work with the same people (even if i love them to bits!) all the time. and i rarely hold on to any clothes for longer than 5 years - normally after 5 years it gets relegated to Salvation Army.

i realise i like practicality. i like planning out my budgets and finances, and knowing that my other half is doing the same. i like saving on my lunches, and bringing a water bottle with me, so that i have more in my piggy bank to spend on a rainy day, or on some special gift or to give to someone who needs it.

but i like being spontaneous as well. like running through the rain without a care in the world occassionally. or buying a totally frivolous vintage frock that i may only wear once or twice in my lifetime. or buying mel a present when i feel like it. and it love it when he also randomly does something nice for me. makes me feel special =)

a person of contradictions - that's what my boss said.

i guess i am =b

home is where God is

2007-02-05T09:04:00.000+08:00

Mel and I are number two-thousand-and-something on the list for walk-in selection! =) Yesterday as we flipped through the list of potential houses, and looked at maps and house layouts etc... it was kinda scary, cos we want to hope that we get this place or that place, but in the end it depends on whether the people in the queue in front of us snap it up first. =b so there's this tension of wanting to hope and wanting to be realistic... but my parents reminded us that what's most important is that we PRAY, and trust that God really does have a home for us. =)

Decided to flip through Psalms this morning, and was hugely encouraged by this passage which I had highlighted for a different context in 2002.

Even the sparrow has found a home,

and the swallow a nest for herself.

where she may have her young -

a place near your altar,

O Lord Almighty, My King and my God.

Blessed are those who dwell in your house;

they are ever praising you.

For the Lord God is a sun and shield;

the Lord bestows favour and honour;

no good thing does he withhold

from those whose walk is blameless.

O Lord Almighty,

blessed is the man who trusts in you.

- Psalm 84:3-4, 11-12